Friday, May 6, 2011

Things I've Learned From Watching Movies Part 90

Movies about Jesus would be more exciting if He was the type of muscle bound god who waved a magic hammer around.

Just because a movie has a porn title doesn't mean it's porn though if the star is playing a crazy man, it may just mean that he's really crazy.

Rich and poor people should be educated on the risk of wackiness breaking out should one of them ever decide to marry the other.

Fucking your best friend's fiancee is perfectly acceptable if you're sweet and the friend is a tad bitchy.

Not all vampires are emotionally flat sparkling freaks with mumbling girlfriends.

Da bitches be crazy!

It's impossible to make too many movies about pirates doing their awesome Keith Richards impersonations.

What are the odds that three guys who got so wasted that they had an insanely wild night they couldn't remember but still had to deal with rather serious consequences would ever allow something like that to happen again? Pretty damn good as it turns out.

What are the odds that an overweight panda who has mastered kung fu would be called upon to save the world from some mystical threat a second time? Pretty damn good as it turns out.

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