Once again, I have been criticized by right wing blogger Götterdamerung whose column "Twilight Of The Dems" appears regularly at Bushpocalypse.org. This time he claimed that my review of "Leatherheads" was laced with liberal bias and could very well lead to the destruction of the United States unless I allowed him to post his own review for the sake of balance. As was the case the last time he did this, I have no idea what he's talking about but, since this site has low traffic and I can't afford to lose a reader, he can take all the space he wants. --MC
Hey all, Götterdamerung here. I once again had to try to slog through one of Michael Clear's jihadist screeds and could not keep silent. This time, he tries to pass off his liberal garbage as a completely apolitical review of the new movie Leatherheads starring Osama bin Laden's favorite actor, George Clooney. At first glance, both the movie and the review seem to take no political stand but taking no political stand is the oldest trick in the liberal playbook. Your typical lefty used to pretend to be neutral on things like coffee flavors and, before we knew it, we were all sipping espresso. I drink 3 espressos a day now and I'm still not entirely sure what the hell espresso is. That's how crafty the liberals are.
Leatherheads is about the great American game of football and when I say football I mean REAL football, not that crap they play in France where adorable little fancy boys run around in their shorts and score 3 points per game. No, this isn't that gay version, this is the real game where manly men put on the pads and rub up against each other, grab their crotches, smack each others asses and show us all their gloriously muscled bodies. The fact that I so admire the masculinity of the game proves that I'm not a homosexual and that's one of the reasons why I hate this movie so much. This is a tool for homosexual recrutiment. in order to advance the radical homosexual agenda, Leatherheads is trying to turn us all gay.
Again, this isn't obvious to everyone but it's so obvious to me that I'm surprised there wasn't a scene where all its characters get up on a stage and start dancing the Vogue. I won't blame you if you didn't see it. You're not like me. I see these things because, long ago, I managed to crack Hollywood's Liberal Code. Once you've seen this you can't ignore it and you realize that almost every movie made is like someone tying you down and forcing you to read that day's New York Times. For instance, 21 appeared to be a movie about card counters but, when more closely examined, is actually a lecture about how we should elect Democrats so they can gamble with our economy. Such is the case with Leatherheads.
As I already said, the movie stars George Clooney, a man devoted to turning the USA into a Muslim caliphate and I guess he figures a good way to do it is to create a country where all the men are gay. Clooney's character, football player Dodge Connelly, befriends a good looking male college student played by John Krasinski. It's hard for the average heterosexual man to look at these two and not have erotic thoughts and I reach this conclusion by the fact that, as heterosexuals go, I'm way the hell above average and I couldn't stop imagining them in togas wrestling so I can only imagine what it was like for the poor guys out there who are merely average. The true deviousness of the movie, though is revealed when the two begin a romantic rivalry over female reporter Lexie Littleton, played by Renee Zellweger. This is where Leatherheads enacts it's America-hating agenda.
Lexie Littleton is a very strong willed woman who, in the 1920s, manages to become successful in a profession dominated by men. In other words, she's a beautiful woman who acts just like a man. Are you making the connection? The movie is saying that Clooney and Krasinski are symbolically attracted to a man and that we all should be too and, damn it, it worked. I kept imagining Renee Zellweger as a man and having a gay threesome with the other two and oh lord, you wouldn't believe the disgusting things that my imagination had them doing. It reminded me of the time when my parents caught me skinny dipping with my buddy Chuck and sent me to Christ Camp to have all the gayness prayed out of me. That worked, of course, and I became 100% straight but Leatherheads managed to knock me down to about 75%. If the same thing happens to you, do what I did and rent 300. Watching the truly masculine Spartans in their red capes and loincloths sweating and grunting on the battlefield worked and I was once again able to have sex with the Hot Little Number I Call Mrs. Götterdamerung without gagging.
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