Turns Out Pixar's Animated "The Fountainhead" Is Off The Table

Some of you have probably heard of the right wing's grand battle against WALL·E and that it has fallen flat. It opened at a very strong #1 thus ending their dream of repeating the success they had at blunting the box office take of The Golden Compass (you may remember how right wingers believed that this movie about a talking bear who beats the crap out of another talking bear threatened a 2000 year old religion). One thing this has taught me is that I would quickly lose my love of movies if viewing them was a quest for ideological purity and worldview validation. Sure, I jokingly told everyone to boycott the movie but these folks were actually trying to kill it. If I was a conservative, how could I ever enjoy going to the cinema when I knew that my entire time would be spent parsing every second to see if I could find signs of treason? How could I watch The Hulk and not see it as a diatribe against nuclear power or see Kung Fu Panda and try to figure out whether the film's liberal filmmakers are trying to get us to turn over all power to communist China or that we should all just have sex with animals so that they can talk like they do in the movie? An how, oh now, would I get over the fact that I have now "lost" something I never truly had?

I am talking about how conservatives felt that the folks at Pixar were, "one of them." Looking past the idea that they see a company with many employees as one person, how did they come to this conclusion? It turns out that they saw The Incredibles as being such an affirmation of conservative ideals that it was very difficult for them to keep from ejaculating* when they saw it. I knew about the conservative obsession with 300 and Transformers but I was in the dark about The Incredibles until I read this post by Jason Apuzzo from the newly-Dirty Harry-free Libertas telling us why:

Ever since Pixar’s The Incredibles came out several years ago, I’ve seen it hyped in conservative-libertarian circles to no end, to the point that people began to believe that there was actually some kind of pseudo-libertarian cabal of people who ran Pixar.

It turns out that The Incredibles, a movie seen by most people as an intelligent and entertaining film that served as both a fun superhero adventure and a funny parody of superhero adventures was seen by the right as Atlas Shrugged For Kids. For those of you who were never forced to read Atlas Shrugged, it's a novel by Ayn Rand written on a 4th grade reading level about some goob named John Galt who gets the world's smart people to go on strike. The message is that those who are Extraordinary should be a wealthy, ruling Elite. It says that we couldn't get by without them but rejects the idea that they couldn't get along without us. And that's what people like Jason Apuzzo saw when they watched The Incredibles.

Now their hearts are all broken. Their fantasies about partying with Pixar employees and getting drunk with them so they could all circle jerk each other and claim the next day that the alcohol was to blame has died because their accidentally-gay boyfriends have now made a movie where the Earth has been rendered uninhabitable by pollution. They even had the temerity to include what they saw as a clear slap in their faces by having one of their characters make a joke about staying the course. It's like Apuzzo and Company are Jennifer Aniston and Pixar is Brad Pitt who has just left them for the hot, sexy liberal ideology that looks a lot like Angelina Jolie and, to add insult to injury, Brad and Angie had a child named WALL·E.

Seriously, why the hell do you people even go to the movies? Wouldn't you be much happier if you just stayed home watching Fox News in between DVD collections of 24? Oh well, I'm off to see Hancock, a movie that will doubtlessly be described on right wing sites tomorrow as an anti-Randian screed that's trying to indoctrinate our children into the idea that Extraordinary People are out-of-control alcoholics who must be controlled by the lesser elements of society and have their spirits broken so they can be molded to our view of what they should be.

*This, of course, applies only to the men and Ann Coulter.

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