Wednesday, January 27, 2010

School of...I Don't Know

Now and then things just get stuck in my head. Something will occur to me and I'll obsess over it no matter how hard I try not to. This happened recently after I saw Avatar and started wondering about the nature of the planet that Pandora was orbiting. As I don't have James Cameron on speed dial and thus have no way to check and see if any of my thoughts or conclusions were true, it was a pointless exercise yet I did it anyway. Now I have a similar problem.

I saw that the Jack Black movie School of Rock was playing on cable over the weekend and I started wondering what sort of title you would give a pornographic version of that film. For the life of me, I just can't think of anything. As with the Avatar thing, this is completely pointless but I just can't stop thinking about it.

This is what my thoughts look like right now: "School of Rock...School of Rock..." over and over again. At first I thought School of Sex would work but it just doesn't seem right to me. I've thought of and rejected School of XXX more than once. It's not bad but most people would probably think it was the porn version of that Vin Diesel movie. I suppose the plot would be something along the lines of, "Girl wanting to star in porn but having no idea how to go about doing that meets a teacher who shows her how." So, School of Porn? No, I just can't quite accept that.

I was thinking maybe the answer would be something that rhymes with rock but none of those work either. I thought School of Sock but that makes no sense. School of Wok would be awesome if it would about cooking Chinese food and not learning how to comfortably take a dick up your ass so that got rejected. School of Jock would have been nice since porn does tend to center around that area of the body covered by a jock strap but it would really be more fitting for a movie about trying out for a sports team.

I guess I just have to accept that there is no decent porn name for School of Rock and that the several days I've spent trying to come up with one have been a huge waste of time. Sorry for bothering you all with this. I'll be back tomorrow with a real post.

Update: SCHOOL OF BLOW JOBS! Wow, that was so obvious. Why couldn't I think of that before? The most logical porn name for School of Rock is School of Blow Jobs. Really, there is no other choice.

No comments: