I'm A Twit

You may have thought you were going to read something today called "Swine Flu -- The Movie." If you logged on earlier or have a RSS Reader you may have seen a post with that headline along with an incomprehensible single paragraph. That's actually an incomplete rough draft of something that will have to wait a day or two as I got busy with errands and work and couldn't give it the love it deserves. Instead of that, I give you filler. I use this thing that the kids like to call "The Twitter" so I thought I'd regale you with some of the genius that is I condensed to 140 characters. One awesome thing in my life directly attributable to Twitter: I won a contest held by Neal Gaiman and won a personally autographed copy of The Graveyard Book.

When BBC America presents us with such scintillating titles as "Hotel Inspector" how can we NOT watch? 3:49 PM Apr 23rd from web

I've always known when to take cake out of the oven. It's the lame end of the superpower scale but I'll take what I can get. 6:29 AM Apr 24th from web

Youtube is promoting the fact that they have full movies like Harvard Man and Blue Juice online, I assume because they hate the world. 4:02 PM Apr 24th from web

Blue Juice's IMDB page: "Will he stay with her and run a surfer coffee shop or travel around the world without her?" That screams quality. 4:04 PM Apr 24th from web

Why is it we can put a man on the Moon yet I'm not allowed to spy on women while they shower? 5:28 PM Apr 24th from web

So now we're all going to die of swine flu? Odd, since I thought we had all already died of bird flu. 4:36 PM Apr 25th from web

How many times in the last decade has the media crapped its pants and screamed "pandemic" about a perfectly manageable situation? 4:40 PM Apr 25th from web

I wonder if we'll get another crap made for TV movie out of this. http://tinyurl.com/5dxcol 4:46 PM Apr 25th from web

This will be my 350th tweet. If you write it like this "3-50" it makes me very sad since my parents were killed on March the 50th. 7:21 AM Apr 26th from web

Fact: Bea Arthur was healthy till she ate her last meal: Pork Chops. Coincidence? And why is the media covering this up? April 27th from TweetDeck

Good night all. Please note I've already established Bartertown for when swine flu destroys society. about 23 hours ago from TweetDeck

Hey all. I see my Twitter friend PgFker69 passed away overnight. I wonder what killed him. 6 AM April 28th from TweetDeck

Which insurance company do the people on #House use? House says "Let's do MRIs on every molecule" and their HMOs say nothing. 10 AM April 27th from TweetDeck

The pitch: A show called Glee where students try to improve their circumstances by singing 20 year old songs. 10:15 AM April 28th from TweetDeck

I just can't figure out what else was in that pitch. Maybe "Greenlight the show and I'll return your kidnapped son." 10:17 AM April 28th from TweetDeck