Monday, April 6, 2009

Jessica Biel Naked

Ah, cool, I finally have an excuse to legitimately use a headline guaranteed to up my hit numbers.

I am referring to Jessica Biel's upcoming movie Powder Blue in which she plays a stripper. She gave an interview recently to Access Hollywood about the movie along with some footage of her at what I assume is some sort of stripper boot camp. It's actually something of an art film which is probably how they convinced her to take off her top. It always amazes me how actresses keep at least minimally covered when making ten million bucks yet expose their good stuff to the world when making a movie for scale just because some pretentious director said to them something like, "This will be evocative of Truffaut." This is how IMDB describes the plot of Powder Blue:
Several Angelenos meet on Christmas Eve through chance, tragedy and divine intervention. Swayze will play the sleazy owner of the strip club where Biel's character dances. Redmayne will portray a mortician who falls in love with her. Kristofferson will play the head of a corporate crime organization who tries to convince his former employee (Liotta) not to seek vengeance on his former co-workers. Whitaker, who also serves as a producer on the film, will play a suicidal ex-priest. Newcomer Alejandro Romero will play a transsexual prostitute who shares an unexpected bond with the priest.
This is what Access Hollywood showed (may not be safe for work). Wow, amazing how Access Hollywood managed to so fully encapsulate the plot into the one clip. Here is the movie's actual trailer:



I wonder if the other actors will get their own Access Hollywood profiles showing how they prepared for their roles. Maybe we'll get to find out how Ray Liotta and Forrest Whitaker learned to stare so pensively or what Patrick Swayze did to be so damn weird.

By the way, have you ever noticed whenever an actress plays a stripper, they always say the same thing? Here are some predictions I made before watching Jessica Biel's interview as to what she would say:
  • It was very empowering.
  • You feel very much in control when you strip.
  • I have so much more respect for women in that position now.
  • It was so much more difficult than I thought it would be.
  • Shoving a banana into various orifices isn't as much fun as it sounds.
Leaving out the last one, I was 2 for 4 but I'll be really surprised if upcoming interviews don't include the other two.

I have no idea if Powder Blue is going to be any good. I do know that at least a portion of the marketing is going to try and cast the illusion that this complex indie ensemble drama is Jessica Biel bending over backwards while trying to lick her own nipples. Just thought I'd warn you. As always, you're welcome.

2 comments:

FM said...

In a somewhat coincidental moment, I just got finished watching Code 46 (rewatching, rather, after a hazy memory of pay-per-view from years ago), which contains copious closeups and artsy shots of Samantha Morton, better known as the precog from Minority report.

If you came in and simply watched one of the sex scenes, you would barely know that Tim Robbins is also in the movie. And she gets naked for no real reason several times. It felt a lot like the film was simply "A Chance To Get Samantha Morton To Repeatedly Say 'I Love You' On Camera" until they mashed together a science fiction world that really, really wishes it could be Blade Runner meets Lost in Translation.

So yeah. If you have a creepy obsession with Samantha Morton, go watch Code 46. If not, uh...well, I didn't think it was all that bad, at least for the first half, but then I was one of those people who thought Lost in Translation was the best thing ever, so you might not share my opinion.

...oh right. This is your blog. Sorry. Just pretend I said 'Wow, what an insightfully delightful post, Mike!'

Unknown said...

*shrug* Not a problem. If you want to post your 20,000 word magnum opus about all the chicks you've seen naked on screen, go ahead. It's not like Blogger charges me by the word.