Look At My Briefs -- 6/3/10

As this is the first Thursday of the month, I figured the best way to commemorate this very special Thursday by doing what I do every Thursday. Namely, I will present to you another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

The new Ashton Kutcher/Katherine Heigl comedy Killers, coming out tomorrow, so far has a big old N/A as its Tomatometer rating because the studio has not made it available ahead of time to movie critics. This is normally done when a movie studio realizes that they have the cinematic equivalent of the Necronomicon on its hands and they figure that they can get a few rubes to plunk down some bucks before the word on it gets out. Maybe this time it's different. Maybe the movie is so good that studios fear it will set a new standard for movie excellence and will literally rewire the brains of they who see it in a way that will create a better world. If that was the case, they'd want everyone to see it at once and not give critics a sneak peek, right? After all, what are the odds that a romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl could be an unwatchable piece of crap?

I agree that Mission Impossible III was the best entry in that series so I'm not necessarily against another one being made. The fact that it's going to be directed by Incredibles/Iron Giant director Brad Bird sweetens the deal. Of course, with Bird at the helm, I'd feel a lot better if MI4 was an animated movie made by Pixar but I suppose I could say that about any movie.

The trailer for The Last Airbender certainly looks action packed but it doesn't fill me with optimism for the movie itself. I've been watching the original animated series from which the movie was adapted and it's filled with humor and whimsy in addition to the action and serious storyline. The trailer, on the other hand, looks like a very solemn affair. This could be because they decided to concentrate on action in the trailer or it could be that the movie is written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, a filmmaker who isn't exactly known as Mr. Haha. His movies always have characters who are clinically depressed and I hope he resisted the urge to do so in Last Airbender. Also, he changed the original name which was Avatar. Why the hell would you do that?

This Big Hollywood review of Sex and the City 2 is one of the more unintentionally hilarious things I've read in a while. John Nolte is a fellow who, in the past, has written articles praising Transformers as a fine example of American values and trashing The Blind Side for a five second Bush joke even though the rest of the movie is probably the most overtly conservative film made in a while. Now that you have a taste of how he thinks, it won't be as much of a surprise when you hear that he absolutely loved Sex and the City 2 not for its quality, intelligence of wit but because it trashed Muslims. He even makes damn sure that he's always hated anything with the name Sex and the City before this and that you know he disapproves of women using their ladyparts for anything but Jesus approved procreative sex. However, because Kim Cattrall's Samantha character gets in trouble for kissing in public in defiance of Abu Dhabi's Islamic laws, Sex and the City 2 is now blessed with Reagan's tears. I can't imagine the kind of mind it takes to write something like this that isn't meant to be satire:

A little later, back in America and with red, white and blue fireworks exploding overhead, Samantha’s getting her brains screwed out on the hood of a jeep as Carrie’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) voice-over mentions with no small amount of appreciation, “the land of the free.”

Yes, I get misty eyed just thinking about.

Finally, Get Him to The Greek comes out tomorrow. I hope Jonah Hill manages to get Russell Brand to the Greek. I don't think life will be worth living if he doesn't.