Friday, November 26, 2010

Things I've Learned From Watching Movies Part 85

It's official. They'll make a movie out of anything.

The reason you never hear about a ninja killing anyone is because they spend most of their time trying to kill each other.

If a movie has a sex scene between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, I'll go see it. This is something I have learned about myself and I'm totally cool with it.

Jesus was a talking lion who mercilessly ripped apart his enemies. Did I get that right, C.S. Lewis?

It's all right if you get tricked, framed and have your life threatened so as as it's Angelina Jolie doing all that to you. Seriously, she could do all that to me and I'd still want to take her to McDonalds or whatever it is she likes to do.

Sure, the story of an underdog boxer going all the way has been done a million times but that means you can say the lines along with the actors. That's good, right?

Sure, 99% of all romantic comedies suck but how do you know for sure? Yes, how do you know?

This movie is a true revelation. I would have thought it would be a huge deal if bears started talking but now I see that people will be nonplussed and the two races will instead enter into a battle of wits over picnic baskets.

Allegorical fantasy stories about Irish class differences in the 18th century that are considered to be classic works of literature make a great basis for modern day comedies about idiots who bounce cannonballs off their body fat.

Story ideas that ran out of steam in the first movie should definitely get a second sequel.

The Dude abides. As does the Clu. And the Rooster.

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