Tuesday, November 23, 2010

You Know It's Filler, Filler Night

I'm busy with various holiday related activities so today, instead of posting nothing, I'm going to show off my cut-and-paste skills by sharing the best of my Twitter posts.

  • I've decided to start keeping score. So far, I'm ten points ahead of the rest of you.
  • Skating With The Stars, because Dancing With The Stars still leaves you with a shred of hope for humanity.
  • Tomorrow I will either shake things up or bring that old razzle dazzle. Haven't decided yet.
  • Since he Ok'd condoms, Vatican officials have been keeping the Pope quiet lest he say, "Hell with it. Abortion and gay sex are cool too."
  • "Hey man, know what would be funny? When you create women, make them bleed out their vaginas once a month." -- God's a-hole frat brothers
  • "Hey man, know what would be funny? When you create women, make them bleed out their vaginas once a month." -- God's a-hole frat brothers
  • Incidentally, if anyone knows Kim Kardashian, please tell her it would really help my showbiz career if she and I started having sex.
  • "Please sign this petition to protest Miley Cyrus' upcoming 18th birthday." -- Socially active pedophile
  • I just had sex with a woman. Please RT.
  • "They ride around the Outback looking for gasoline." American knowledge of Australia begins and ends with The Road Warrior.
  • Henry VIII didn't kill his 6 wives. He only killed 2 so he wasn't so bad.
  • "Can I solve the puzzle, Pat? Raping The Squirrel!" I suck at Wheel of Fortune.
  • Historians have show it was 3 days after the invention of math that someone sarcastically said, "You do the math."
  • Congress bans "Crush" videos? Well hell, there goes my weekend.

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