It's time to once again see what upcoming movies have to teach us.
It turns out that pink bunnies are lethal, chickens are megalomaniacs and there's a reason that jelly beans taste like shit.
History is something that can be freely pissed away. That's what these guys say anyway.
Go ahead and remake a beloved comedy. It's not like anyone will notice or care.
I thought that Kick Ass had already taught us that little girls are unbeatable psychopaths but I guess we have to learn it all over again.
If you lose your arm in a shark attack, the way to recover and once again become a champion surfer is to have a Katy Perry song playing in the background. Also, if this girl does well, don't tell her she deserves a hand.
If you were nominated AND actually won an Oscar this year, the only worthy follow up is a crude comedy in which you are given either second or third billing to Danny McBride.
You aren't truly successful unless you've built a railroad using magic metal so you can have sex while riding on a train full of money.
Hitchcock was wrong. Birds are too stupid to ever rise up against us.
Jesus people, it's been a 150 years. Let it go.
When you run out of ideas, just do the same movie over and over.
See above only change the eternally remade movie to Blair Witch Project.
Some actors just aren't effective on screen without mumbling girlfriends and buff werewolves as their costars.
Turns out everyone who goes to prom is, at some level or other, an annoying douchebag. Again, though, we learn that all is made right by playing Katy Perry's "Firework."