Look At My Briefs -- 3/3/11

Thank goodness March is here. I usually enjoy winter but I've gotten tired of this one, mainly because of an excess of snow. March comes in like a lion, they say, and the thing most like a lion, at least in the world of movie blogging, is another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

Why is everyone so shocked that Michael Bay seems oblivious to the fact that he often offends huge sections of his audience? He's been doing this for years and yet he's only been rewarded for it. Hell, if I was him I'd remake Birth of a Nation.

You'd think I'd like the idea of Viggo Mortensen playing General Zod is a new Superman movie. I don't like it for several reasons. First, we don't need another Superman movie. Second, contemporary villains are usually far more introspective today than they were in 1980 when Terrence Stamp played Zod. In that, Zod was a bad guy, plain and simple. "Bow down before me, son of Jor-El!" is classic and cool channeling of Ming the Merciless. I'm worried a modern Zod will be like the modern Ming we saw a few years ago when the SighFigh channel tried to bring him back in a new Flash Gordon series. That Ming looked and acted like an insurance salesman. Also, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER SUPERMAN MOVIE!

I want to see a spaghetti Western by Quentin Tarantino more than I want to see world peace, an AIDS cure or a naked Kate Beckinsale yelling, "RIDE ME, MICHAEL!". 'Nuff said.

I see Warner Brothers is trying to copy Disney by claiming they own characters that they really don't own. It will be really cool if they try to do it to Disney themselves as they try to make a new film with James Franco as the Wizard. Of course, Disney itself will claim they invented Oz when that movie comes out.

Dear Charlie Sheen: Fuck you. Your crazy behavior has been clogging my Google Reader for over a week now. It is my right as an American to demand that you get your shit together and stop bothering me. Also, good work on getting crazy conspiracy theorist Alex Jones on your side. That should convince people that your whole personal thing is now fixed. (If you don't know who Alex Jones is, look him up. I'm not linking to him.)

Worldwide access to the BBC's iPlayer is, to me, too good to be true and makes me think I must be misreading it. That would be worth the cost just for Doctor Who episodes. It's possible now to access the iPlayer in the U.S. Not that I would ever do that, of course, as just the thought of doing something so immoral and vaguely illegal makes my sphincter clench and unclench uncontrollably. I suppose the BBC figured that, since they can't stop foreigners from getting in, they can at least make money off the deal. That's downright American of them.