Look At My Briefs -- 5/20/10

It's Thursday. How do you know it's Thursday? Because that's the day I publish this, my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

"GO TO HELL NBC! GO TO THAT PART OF HELL WHERE YOU GET BALL CANCER AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE BALLS THEN GO TO SOME OTHER PART OF HELL WHERE THEY GROW BALLS ON THEN GO BACK TO THAT BALL CANCER PART!!!!!" That's what I would have said had this article announcing that NBC was canceling Heroes come out three years ago instead of this week. Now my response is, "What took you so damn long, NBC?" After season one, an example of how good television can be, Heroes steadily went downhill. The really bad part was that they would show some promise now and again that kept me watching the show. After that flash of promise, you'd get six episodes straight of people hanging around carnival washing dishes.

Even less of a surprise was the cancellation of Flash Forward. That wasn't horrible but it never stopped having moments of supreme silliness. As dumb as Flash Forward could be, though, it was an object lesson in supreme logic when you compare it to V which actually got renewed. V is to Flash Forward what a retard fungus is to Flash Forward. Oh well, now I know I'll be able to celebrate V's cancellation next year. It'll give me something to do.

Tomorrow marks the release of the last Shrek film, or at least the last one until they "reboot" the whole thing a few years from now. Anyway, this movie will be in 3D which means we get a glorious combination of people who like to bitch about 3D movies and the ones who will say, "Shrek's sucked since the first movie." So, if you're the kind of person who enjoys trolling movie forums, this weekend belongs to you.

There's a movie coming out in July I'm really looking forward to that I almost certainly won't get to see in a theater unless it's an unexpected breakout hit. So, should July 9 roll around and you find yourself near a theater that is showing Winnebago Man, try to find the will power to pull yourself away from the cinematic genius of The A-Team, Jonah Hex, Predators, Despicable Me and, as if we could forget, Twilight: Eclipse and go see what looks like a very good documentary.

I still can't accept the idea that MacGruber might actually turn out to be funny. It simply shouldn't be possible to take a one joke SNL gag and turn it into an entertaining full length feature. Still, I've been hearing all year that test audiences liked and and now the early reviews are in so the evidence is mounting up that I'm wrong. As of this writing, it's scoring an 89% on the Tomatometer. 89%? Really? You could resurrect young Orson Welles and allow him to re-edit Citizen Kane so it's even better and the result would probably only score a 90. A good MacGruber movie isn't supposed to happen and I'm pretty sure it will create cracks all through the space/time continuum.