Look At My Briefs -- 12/23/10

Christmas is almost upon us. I assume I didn't need to tell you that. I also don't need to tell regular readers that this is another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

This trailer is great right up until the moment you realize it's for the new Transformers film. Is it possible that Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon is actually going to be good? Oh no. God no. It's like asking if manure isn't going to stink. If I turn out to be wrong, I'll admit it, but I'm not going to be wrong.

I agree with most of the observations made in this Hollywood Reporter article. I don't think The Walking Dead would have been as good as it was if NBC had picked it up instead of AMC. NBC would have insisted on toning it down on all levels. They probably would have wanted it to be even more episodic than it was and they would have wanted more likability in the characters. Then, when it failed, they would have blamed Frank Darabont and the other makers of the show and said that this was why everything they did had to be variations of The Biggest Loser. I'd also like to comment on their conclusions about Lone Star. As someone who actually saw that show, I can tell you that it failed because it sucked. The small audience that the first episode attracted didn't like it and didn't want to see it again. It's as simple as that. If you want to make complex dramas about multi-faceted people, they have to be really good otherwise people won't want to take the time to try to get to know and root for the characters even when they do horrible things. Seems like an obvious lesson but it's one that Fox didn't seem to know.

Yet another person has been injured on the set of the Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. People were wondering if the show's producers were considering shutting down the show entirely. As of this writing, those producers, Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom, could not be reached for comment.

Like the rest of the world, I didn't know what to say when I heard that The Tourist and Burlesque had been nominated for Golden Globes. Now, of course, I know exactly what to say. The fact that the judges were bribed makes perfect sense and brings order to an otherwise chaotic universe. By the way, if you click the link and see the screencap from The Tourist, you may agree with me that Angelina Jolie was born to be the leading lady/femme fatale in Hitchcock films. It's just a shame that no one is making Hitchcock films anymore. At least, no one is making good ones.

Since Mel Gibson is one of Hollywood's most famous conservative actors, the right wing movie site Big Hollywood wants to know when Mel is going to give us a chance to forgive him. The answer is, "Most likely, not ever." Mel Gibson is a bigoted fuckhole. He's most likely been a bigoted fuckhole his entire life and it's very unlikely that he will change. Winona Ryder recently recalled an encounter she had with him 15 years ago when he found out she was Jewish and called her an over dodger. We've only heard about this in the past few years because his alcoholism has gotten out of control and he's lost the ability to hide the fact that he's a bigoted fuckhole. When he's sober, he's calm, gentle, and witty long enough to convince people that he's a civilized man. In all honesty, if he makes a decent movie, I'll go see it and will encourage others to do so. I do that for Roman Polanski movies and Gibson has never raped a teenager or, if he has, he's been smart enough to keep the world from finding out about it. Don't worry though, Big Hollywood. Not all famous conservative actors have substance abuse problems. There's Kelsey Grammer...oh, right.

Apology accepted, Sam Worthington. Now what about Terminator: Salvation?