Friday, February 11, 2011

Things I've Learned From Watching Movies Part 87

Lying your ass off to win a girl is fine so long as the girl is a Sports Illustrated cover girl.

Hollywood's kindness knows no bounds. For example, they made a movie that appeals both to teenage girls and prepubescent midgets.

You can call a movie The Eagle even when it's noticeably lacking in eagles.

God hates us. Seriously, He fucking hates us.

This and the Twilight movies try to teach girls to stay away from guys who are really, really good looking.

I feel this movie has an important lesson to teach but I just don't know what it is.

Nicolas Cage is truly the kind of actor who can play any role. Some he plays quite badly, but he can play them.

I've learned from this that stupid people will do stupid things for stupid reasons and the whole thing will end stupidly. I've also learned it's possible to lose both a piece of your brain and your soul just by watching a trailer.

We must keep garden gnomes apart and at each others throats because, if they ever get solve their differences and unite, the great Garden Gnome Uprising will begin.

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