Thursday, February 3, 2011

Look At My Briefs -- 2/3/11

I'm not sure what will fix the situation in Egypt but I know what won't help is another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs. Sorry Egypt. I did try.

I haven't talked much about the Sundance Film Festival because I'm not there and those short sighted, small minded bastards didn't see fit to invite me to showcase my World of Warcraft fan films. Be that as it may, one breakout star who caught my eye is a girl named Brit Marling. She's not only performing in two films there but she also wrote them. Both of those movie sound freaky and unusual enough to suit my tastes, especially a science fiction film called Another Earth. My life has been a quest for decent, serious science fiction (and by that I don't mean lacking in fun, I mean something that follows logical rules and knows that a solar system isn't a galaxy) and that movie looks like it fits the bill. I even like this quote:
“My brain is rational and skeptical, but my heart is emotional. I want to believe in love and in poetry, that they are sometimes extraordinary, even in mundane settings,” said Marling. “Both movies have that longing.”
I BELIEVE IN LOVE TOO, BRIT! I feel a song coming on...I dreamed a dream of time gone by...anyhoo Brit, I'm kind of buying your products sight unseen so I really, really hope you don't suck. If you do, you owe me $10, just because.

Speaking of science fiction projects, apparently Orson Scott Card's 1985 book Ender's Game with three major studios and some venture capitalists fighting to see who gets to make it. This made me wonder how the hell Hollywood works. As I said, Ender's Game has been around since 1985 and now, 26 years later, everyone in the movie business just has to be the one to adapt it to film. Also, Hollywood? You still haven't made a movie out of Alfred Bester's The Demolished Man. Just saying.

Since the movie business is ignoring me when I keep saying that we don't need another Superman movie, they most likely don't care what my opinion of who should play Lois Lane is but I'll say Olivia Wilde would be the best choice from that list. Kristen Stewart would have been the worst choice so I'm glad she's out. I don't hate Kristen Stewart. She's at her best when playing vulnerable and that's not what Lois Lane should be unless they're planning to tell a story written in the mindset of Superman stories from the 40s in which case they should fight like hell to get her to change her mind.

I wonder who the guy was a few years back who said, "Let's stake our financial future on an unstable, middle aged drug addict." I'm betting he or she is now saying, "Would you like fries with that?"

Thank you, America.

Is it OK if I don't hate this sketch because of GLAAD's allegations of prejudice against the transgendered? It's just that I already hate it because it is to comedy what cancer is to healthy organs.

I don't think The Stand is filmable. If it is, I don't think the movie would be any good since one of Hollywood's main goals for over 30 years has been to make adaptations of Stephen King's work as shitty as possible. The exception to this rule has always been his non-horror works like The Shawshank Redemption, a category The Stand does not fall into. If this book does manage to find its own version of Peter Jackson or, hell, maybe Peter Jackson himself, it will mean Hell has frozen over and is probably a pretty pleasant place now.

Talking about how the commercial Kim Kardashian did for your company gave you a boner is something I could never do. Mainly because I wouldn't stop there. "Seriously, semen was being spilled by the gallon on that set. If a theme park called Jizz World ever opens, they'll model it after the way our set looked. I think women there were getting pregnant just by breathing too hard. The lighting was nice too. Oh, buy Skechers."

No comments: