Congratulations to College

Yes, College, congratulations. You are the official winner of the One Millionth Animal House Remake Award.

This movie takes the very dangerous step of trying to make a Judd Apatow movie without Judd Apatow. When you do stuff like that, the stuff that's supposed to be offensive and funny is just offensive. People who look at Apatow films or watch South Park often fail to appreciate what it is they do and how they elevate low-brow humor to a high artistic level. If you lack the writing and film making talents of Judd Apatow or the South Park guys then stuff that's supposed to be offensive and funny is just offensive and the only people who say that they liked it are either stoned or they're the type of people who laugh when they see a puppy get kicked. I chuckled a couple of times during the trailer and it has a 20% chance of being good (please note that this is a number I pulled entirely out of my ass). Also, the college in this movie, like all movie colleges, has a strictly enforced Hot Girl Only Policy which means that the only way an ugly girl gets on campus is if she's the type who only needs to wash her hair and put on a tight dress to be hot. I'm a superficial man so I'll raise my Ass Number from 20 to 22% for that reason. The rest of the movie looks like college movie cliches so 22% is final.

We'll see if I'm right. If 22% is enough to beat the odds, I'll start playing the lottery again.