All I heard at first was that someone was making a "Facebook Movie." This gave me visions of a movie consisting entirely of large groups of people in hot tubs, guys licking beer out of a girl's navel, girls miming oral sex with carrots or touching tongues with other girls and endless Playlists featuring indie bands that even the maker of the Playlist doesn't give a crap about. Oh, and every single character would be telling constantly and passionately that (insert favorite sports team here) IS FUCKING AWESOME! This caused me to make a decision I had often come very close to making in the past. I was going to travel to Hollywood, kidnap the guy who greenlit the movie and bury him up to his neck in an anthill until he changed his mind.
It turns out that it's not that bad. Sony and Aaron Sorkin are in the preliminary stages of filming the story of Facebook's creation. I read an article a few weeks back in what I think was Rolling Stone (and through the magic of Google, I find out it was Rolling Stone) about Facebook's controversial creation and the ongoing legal battles surrounding it. The article's a decent read and you should check it out if only to be able to yell at the screen during the movie when a historical inaccuracy rears its ugly head.
Aaron Sorkin himself talks about this on his own newly founded Facebook page. You high school and college kids out there will recognize the style of Sorkin's page as the same one your mom uses when she tries to set up her own page. She proudly states that she knows jack about Facebook and just, "wanted to see what all the fuss was about." She then wants to join all your groups and have access to all your pages. Because you're probably stoned most of the time, you do so and she sees you licking apple sauce off the breasts of that very nice girl she met when you brought her home for Thanksgiving and this example gets ten times worse if you happen to also be a girl which means Mom starts sending you brochures for Christ Camp which include that quote from Leviticus about man not laying down with another man or, in this case, a girl not licking the intimate parts of another girl.
If this ever happens to you, in a roundabout way it'll be Aaron Sorkin's fault because he made that movie.
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