Friday, June 19, 2009

Stupid Human Tricks

Today's post exists because I want to say just one thing. Before I can say that, I must say all of this:

Our story so far: talk show host David Letterman told a joke about Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's attendance of a Yankee game, specifically saying that, during the seventh inning, "...her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez." Unbeknownst to Letterman, the daughter was not her daughter Bristol, the 18 year old unwed mother. It her other other daughter Willow, the 14 year who will certainly never be an unwed mother since she's being taught the same abstinence only/no birth control policies as her older sister was. This caused Palin and her political allies to accuse David Letterman of making a joke about the statutory rape of 14 year old Willow Palin.

It was obvious to anyone who's not a complete doofus that Letterman was referring to the 18 year old who's already squeezed out one kid and not the 14 year old Willow. The fact that you have to NOT be a complete doofus explains why Sarah Palin and her allies accused Letterman of making a child molestation joke.

Speaking of complete doofuses, the best example of this attitude comes, of course, from Big Hollywood's conservative film critic and amateur Palin humper John Nolte. He actually declared victory on Palin's behalf based on an interview she did with Today Show's Matt Lauer.
From the looks of this interview, She Who Strikes Terror In Leftist Hearts wants to turn the unsavory affair around into a push back against all of pop culture, which is certain to resonate, especially if we keep pushing back. Just compare the bitter, sour, twilight-of-his-increasingly-pathetic-career Letterman to this intelligent, poised, cheerful, vibrant woman with her horizons still open to everything. It’s kind of a no contest.
He said this despite Palin's absurd allegations during the interview that she would have to make sure not to leave Letterman alone with her daughter. When Lauer directly asked if she was accusing David Letterman of being a child molester, she weaseled out (I assume because she's a weasel) by saying more than once, "You can take that any way you want."

The whole issue culminated this week with a protest outside of Letterman's studio organized by professional Palin humper John Ziegler's newly formed website

This whole incident shows us why Sarah Palin will never be President. It was liberal blogger Kevin Drum who congratulated Palin on her political instincts because she had manipulated and excited her base. Drum has it backwards though. Palin did the exact opposite of what she should have done. Sure, she excited her base. That's easy. Sarah Palin is loved by the segment of the population that think we should have a nuclear war because that will make Jesus come back but her problem is that she is loathed by pretty much everyone else. A good first step toward rectifying this problem would have been to go on Letterman's show, congenially scold him for his poor taste and do a couple of funny bits with him to endear herself to Letterman's audience. Instead, she and her fellow goobers adopted a scorched-earth policy.

So, how'd all this work out?

Remember that "huge" protest that threw? It was attended by 15 people. There were literally twice as many journalists covering the event as there were protesters. Unforunately for this small number of protesters, they didn't realize they were idiots and allowed themselves to be videotaped.

One woman asked how Letterman could make a joke like that when he has a daughter out of wedlock which should come as interesting news to Letterman's only child, his son, Harry. We also got to hear this woman showing us all how she is so much classier than David Letterman.
"How dare he?" asked yet a third, the most offensive of all. "When he has a bastard son, and a slut for a wife" (Letterman's wife Lasko has kept a notoriously low profile).
Offensive comments aside, this stupid, stupid woman actually compared two financially secure mature adults in a long term committed relationship (they've since gotten married) choosing to have a baby to a teenage girl who believed her boyfriend when he said she wouldn't get pregnant if they did it standing up. It also seems to have slipped her mind that Bristol Palin would easily qualify for "slut" status under her loose definition of the word. My personal favorite quote is the woman who shrieked at the top of her lungs, "HE'LL RAPE YOU WITH HIS MOUTH!" That really does project Take Me Seriously to the whole world.

Also, most importantly, since this all started Letterman's ratings actually went up by 700,000 people. So, with all that in mind, here is what I wanted to say. To Sarah Palin, John Nolte,, the right wing blogosphere and all the mini-brained douchebags who decided to embarrass themselves by showing up outside of Letterman's studio:


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