Thursday, June 18, 2009

Look At My Briefs -- 6/18/09

And now, I present another edition of short subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

I've been saying for years (mainly to the squirrels outside my window) that I'd like to see the makers of James Bond films bring back Bond's arch enemy Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Blofeld was the head of SPECTRE, one of those mega hugely powerful evil guy organizations that were always trying to conquer the world. Exactly how groups like this take over usually isn't dealt with. Blofeld's basic plan, as I recall, was to sit around and see who won the Cold War and then do battle with whoever was left. I wonder if this means Blofeld took over in the mid 90s. That would explain a lot.

Anyway, it looks like my wish is coming true and that Michael Sheen may be playing the colorful villain with a white cat who lives in a hollowed out volcano. Please note that I restrained myself from saying, "...colorful villain who likes to stroke a pussy." I could not, however, restrain myself from commenting on that fact. I have issues.

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This actually makes me feel sorry for the makers of Land of the Lost. I just hope this doesn't discourage other filmmakers and movie studios from taking beloved, serious science fiction properties and remaking them as lame comedies.

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Good idea. This can't possibly fail.

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As long as I'm linking to MTV Movies Blog, they also quote from an interview with Shia LeBeouf in which he comments on the upcoming Tranformers sequel by saying, "This is escapism. This is a fun movie." For those of you unfamiliar with Hollywood-speak, statements like that are said when you've just made some big, high concept action-adventure film that is so horrible and unbelievably stupid that your association with it causes people to question your sanity. The most common defense in cases like this is to accuse the movie's critics of being major league tightasses who only like Jane Austen adaptations and thus could never, ever like movies made for regular folks. The insanely bad movie in question is often quaintly described, as LeBeouf did, as fun or escapist. Other descriptive examples are a cartoon, a popcorn movie or something that brings out your inner child and DAMMIT MAKES YOU SMILE AGAIN.

I'm sure none of this applies to LeBeouf or Transformers, of course, and I think I now owe Michael Bay another apology.

3 comments:

Dan Coyle said...

Speaking as someone whose heart melted as soon as they got to Mission City watching the first movie... having read the comic adaptation...

Jesus motherfucking tapdancing Christ, Revenge of the Fallen will be awful. Though misogynist instead of racist this time.

Dan Coyle said...

Wait, no, it IS racist, and even more so. Who knew?

Michael Clear said...

I was too busy having the ever loving shit annoyed out of me by Skids and Mudflap to even notice their cartoonish level of racism.