Thursday, August 13, 2009

Look At My Briefs -- 8/13/09

I'm still trying to deal with allergies and the fact that they often give me bronchitis this time every year. I managed to avoid the B-word last year, though. How did I do it? I give all the credit to a magical Cure All of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

Ernie Hudson will be playing a Baltimore detective in upcoming episodes of Heroes. You know what's weird? I like Ernie Hudson in just about everything he's ever done except for his most famous role, Winston in Ghostbusters. Why the Ghostbusters team felt (both the fictional one and the filmmakers) felt that Winston Zeddemore had to be added to the cast is a mystery to this day. The character kind of shows up in the middle of the movie and immediately starts dragging the movie down yet he gets to stand side by side with three of the best comic actors in the business when they face down Zul. I bet if Ghostbusters 3 ends up getting made, the character most prominently featured from the original cast will be Winston.


Disney's going to make a movie about Anne Frank. Hmm, that didn't sound right. Let me put it another way. DISNEY'S going to make a movie about ANNE FRANK?!?!?! I can see it now. Cartoon birds will bring the Frank family food during their captivity while Anne sings about how she wants to be a normal girl. Many tense moments will occur as Nazis nearly discover their hiding place in the attic, including one scene where an overweight cat and a dachshund hilariously distract them just before they find Anne hiding behind a couch. The action packed scenes at the end will show the Franks heroically escaping from the the Netherlands and Anne sings a song about how we're all good in our hearts. Or...maybe not. David Mamet is writing the script so there's some real talent behind the project, though hopefully he'll include fewer F-bombs than his work normally contains.


You know, I was just thinking about how we really need yet another fucking story about zombies.


The only way Blair Witch 3 could possibly be a good idea is if the filmmakers intentionally tried to see if they could make a movie worse than Blair Witch 2. That would indeed be a daunting task. Face it guys, the first one was lighting in a bottle. You made an original, memorable and frightening movie for very little money and the world loved you for it. Give it up. Move on. If a 3rd one gets made, I guaran-goddam-tee you it'll involve a precocious
kid and an intelligent dog who smokes cigars saving the day and no one wants to see that.

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