Tuesday, August 18, 2009


I know that the extraordinary can, after regular exposure, become mundane but, if I'm ever married to a time traveler, I'll always retain a sense of wonder about the whole thing and not think of it as a pain in the ass or the reason I can't plan dinner parties. This is one of the most incredible events in human history and it's treated like a disease.

The movie has a sad opening scene when 6 year old Henry DeTamble time travels for the first time during an auto accident. His mother is so amazed by the sight of her son disappearing that she fails to get out of the way of an oncoming truck and dies. Henry, on the other hand, goes back in time two weeks to see his mother reading to him before returning to the scene of the accident where his 20 year old self (Eric Bana) is waiting to tell him what's going on and that everything will be all right, which is a lie.

We then see the 20-something Henry return to the library where he works and he meets a woman named Claire Abshire (Rachel McAdams) who says she's met him several times since her childhood. She describes their first encounter in a meadow near her home when she was six when he showed up naked in the woods and told her he was a time traveler and that they were friends in the future. Here's a bit of advice to any of you six year old girls out there: if, while in the woods by yourself, you happen to encounter a naked man who says you and he are friends and that you shouldn't tell your mom about any of this, RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND IMMEDIATELY TELL YOUR MOM. Henry visited Claire all through her childhood which is why she slept with him on what was technically their first date.

Rachel McAdams, by virtue of being one of the most adorable people alive, is pretty much the main the reason to see this movie. His time traveling meant that she had 20 years of visits to fall in love with him but he had to fall hard for her the first time he met her. Fortunately, it's Rachel McAdams so it's easy to believe he could so that.

So what are the reasons not to see the movie? Oh, where to begin. You could pretty much chuck the movie's entire supporting cast. They range from bland and forgettable to annoying. Representing both are their best friends, a married couple named Charisse and Gomez. Charisse (Jane McLean) is the forgettable one, something made apparent by the fact that I can't tell you anything about her. Her husband, Gomez, (Ron Livingston) steps up to represent the annoying side. He finds out about Henry's condition and turns out to be a reliable and loyal friend. Unfortunately, his endless stream of bad jokes also make him the kind of guy you want to kick in the face. We also have Claire's father (boring), Henry's father (annoying), a geneticist named Kendrick who manages to give some aid to Henry (boring) and, eventually, Henry and Claire's daughter, Alba (can be both boring and annoying).

The Time Traveler's Wife might be okay for fans of romantic tearjerkers. Then again, I'm a fan of romantic tearjerkers and I can't say I'm a fan. It's not horrible or insulting, it's just...bleh. Major events happened in the lives of these characters and I just didn't care. I mean, the guy was a freaking TIME TRAVELER and I didn't care.

So, there you have it. If you're a big Rachel McAdams fan or, even better, you've devoted your life to masturbating to Rachel McAdams movies (this could apply to both men and women, I don't judge), you might enjoy The Time Traveler's Wife. Otherwise, you won't.

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