Look At My Briefs -- 8/27/09

Once again, I offer my faithful readers brief comments on various subjects that the Queen of England, through Royal Proclamation, called Look At My Briefs.

First off, my condolences to the the family and friends of Senator Edward Kennedy. Unfortunately, he fought for things like social justice and equality for all which means that, as far as a show biz themed site like this is concerned, he may as well not have existed at all.

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This headline does not exactly inspire one to think, "OMG THIS MOVIE IS GUARANTEED TO BE AWESOME."

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There are so many ways a new Oz movie could be good. For instance, if they followed the original stories of Oz author L. Frank Baum more closely than the 1939 Judy Garland musical did. There was a 1985 film called Return to Oz that, visually at least, tried to do that. The movie flopped and that pretty much shut down any and all efforts to bring Oz back to the big screen until now. It looks like the new movie with Dakota Fanning as Dorothy's granddaughter could possibly be attempting something like that. On the other hand, OH SWEET JAYSUS COULD THIS THING SUCK.

"You've still got Dorothy trapped in an odd place," explains co-producer Todd McFarlane. "But she's much closer to the Ripley character from Alien, than a helpless singing girl."

That would be the same Todd McFarlane who made the overrated comic book/utterly sucky movie Spawn. I would want Steven Spielberg or Tim Burton or...well, pretty much just them to make a new Oz movie. As always, we have to wait and see.

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I like it that people are watching True Blood. I'm sick of shows I like getting canceled. True Blood is the anti-Twilight. True Blood showcases a loving relationship between a vampire and a mortal woman instead of a stalker who has to be nagged into sex telling his girlfriend that she should take it as a compliment that he wants to brutally murder her. I also watch it for scientific reasons. I'm trying to see how long it will take before I'm sick and tired of watching Sookie Stackhouse get naked. So far, I'm still cool with it but who knows if that will change? I'll be publishing the results of my study in Scientific American.

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It turns out Inglorious Basterds is even better the second time you see it. This is not unusual for Tarantino films. In the second viewing, you're no longer worried about following the plot and can more fully appreciate things like dialogue, character development and obscure references. Also, I got to see the stuff I missed going to the bathroom during my first viewing. For instance, it turns out the whole movie was set in World War II, something I didn't realize because it was mentioned during a bathroom break.

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Two things I don't understand. Who were the genius marketing executives at two separate studios who thought it would be a good idea to release the newest installments of two high profile horror movie franchises on the same damn weekend? Also, who thinks it's a good idea to release a movie on September 11?