140 Times Ten

As I had no time to do anything original, here are some of the greatest hits posted to my Twitter feed.

• Next week's Lost introduces a 3rd alternate timeline where everyone's allergic to shrimp. Imagine the plot twists.

• Unemployment drops from 10% to 9.7%. THE RECESSION'S OVER! I'm going to smoke a bottle of Dom Perignon and wipe my ass with bald eagles.

• Regal's 20 min ad show says I should get there earlier so I can see the whole thing. Yeah, I'll do that.

• On this day in 1819 Sir Thomas Raffles founded Singapore. I assume the residents were grateful a white European finally said they existed.

• Dear John knocked Avatar out of the #1 spot. I'm assuming it is also an exciting 3-D action film set on another world.

• If Einstein was so smart, why didn't he invent death lasers that shot out of his eyes?

• Also why didn't Einstein develop a race of super intelligent plankton that formed a rock and roll band? What the hell did ne even do?

• When adjusted for inflation, the following movies made more than Avatar: Gone With the Wind, Star Wars, Deuce Bigalow:European Gigolo.

• Part of Tim Tebow's deal to do that commercial is that he gets a cut every time a woman pays to not have an abortion.

Hope you enjoyed the filler. I'll try to be back with something a tad more substantial tomorrow.