Thursday, February 4, 2010

Look At My Briefs -- 2/4/10

I didn't feel too well earlier but now I feel much better thanks to the excitement I feel writing another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I call Look At My Briefs.

Lost is really doubling down on the crazy this season. I think I noted about 87 different alternate realities before I stopped counting. I can't wait till they reveal who the Final Five Islanders are.

Avatar is officially the top grossing movie ever. A lot of people are hoping it gets shut out of the Oscars. If that happens, I'm sure James Cameron will be very upset as he wipes his ass with money.

The first few episodes of 24 have been decent this year but I'm scared to watch anymore as this is the point in every season where the show starts to piss me off. We start seeing various double, triple and quadruple agents entering unguarded rooms to access some sort of forbidden data while Jack manages to track down the terrorists but gets to their hidden location five minutes too late where they have managed to make a clean getaway to go set off their bomb which was actually meant to hide their true goal of freeing their leader from prison which only served as a decoy to mask their ultimate objective of adding some sort of death juice to the nation's water supply. All this happens a dozen times before the season long day ends. I won't be sad when that show ends.

Though Taylor Swift makes her movie debut in this week's release of Valentine's Day, she assures that music will always be number one in her life. WHAT?!!! How will the movie business survive this revelation that a singer won't star in a series of vanity projects, all of which will almost surely suck?

AICN informs me that we may have not only Underworld and Transformers sequels in the works but that they both may be in 3-D. Fuck you, 3-D. Seriously, fuck you. Every piece of crap ever made now has the potential for new life thanks to your stupid technology. I'm sure we'll soon see 3-D sequels of Jurassic Park, Deuce Bigalow and Schindler's List, all of which will be crimes against both cinema and humanity that can be laid directly at the feet of whoever made 3-D a viable option for major releases.

We have entered that time of year where I want to kick people in the face. The Super Bowl is coming up and that means that we have to spend as much time hearing about all those damn ads as we do about the game. Unfortunately, pretty much everyone goes on about the ads and my leg would get tired if I kicked everyone in the face so there's really nothing I can do.

Oh look, a movie with Channing Tatum completely sucks. Shocking. Why do they keep letting this guy be in movies? He makes Shia LeBeouf's oeuvre look like the work of Robert DeNiro.

1 comment:

Dan Coyle said...

Hey, Public Enemies didn't suck. Granted, Tatum was on screen for 45 seconds and you couldn't even see his face from the angle he was shot...