Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Things I've Learned From Watching Movies Part 80

Tim Burton must have access to the best dope on the planet.

Don't date the pretty ones. (One a serious note, I find the relationship between the sexy girl and the doofus guy unbelievable not because of the disparity in their looks but because the guy seems to be a slacker douchebag.)

No one says anything when you toss a woman into the trunk of your car in a crowded parking lot or have a gun battle on a major highway so, you know, go ahead and do that.

The ridiculous extreme of both technology and society is pretty much inevitable.

It has come to the point where if you're in a war zone or any kind of espionage situation and you see a guy who looks like Matt Damon, hop on the next plane and never look back.

I'd have thought the lesson here would be, "Stay the hell away from dragons," but apparently this film is teaching the exact opposite.

I don't want to discuss this film too much since I don't want to spoil the plot for you.

When you get married, accept the fact that the romance is gone forever and stay home until you die.

Both this movie and Percy Jackson have taught us that the Greek gods never did anything that didn't involve being total douchebags.

4 comments:

Dan Coyle said...

Jay Baruchel is one of the least charismatic leading me out there, He actually collapses the screen with his lameness.

Michael Clear said...

A role like this needed someone like Seth Rogen or Michael Cera, not this guy who's best known for absolutely nothing.

Dan Coyle said...

I remember when Undeclared debuted in 2001, it was widely touted by critics as Judd Apatow's big follow up to Freaks and Geeks and therefore a hilarious and awesome series. I watched the pilot, realized Baruchel was the (exceedingly unlikable and lame) lead, and turned it off. And to my utter lack of surprise, the series was canceled within two months. His most prominent roles since have been failed pilots and pity supporting roles in Apatow projects.

Michael Clear said...

He was in Tropic Thunder. That's the only role of his I've seen, only one that comes to mind anyway.