Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Oscar: My Two Cents

Just some random observations I have of this year's awards.

1) There were ten slots this year for Best Picture. My World of Warcraft machinima couldn't have gotten at least one of those? I suspect this is a combination of movie business politics, snobbery toward films made outside of the Hollywood system and my own poorly conceived "Nominate Me Or I'll Call You All Queers On The Internet" nomination campaign. Worst part is I have to live up to my word and call the entire Academy queers now. I really don't want to do that but if I don't, people stop taking me seriously. So..George Clooney's a queer (to be continued)

2)I'd be really pissed if I was nominated for Best Supporting Actor and I was anyone but Christoph Waltz. His portrayal of Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds was the most memorable villain since Hannibal Lecter and his nomination is the only thing I would confidently say was a sure thing. I bet the other four guys are thinking, "Why don't we just kill him," but that would do no good. Don't forget, Heath Ledger won posthumously last year.

3) I'd be willing to place a huge wager that none of the films in the "Documentary:Short Feature" category actually exists and everyone at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences responsible for these nominations are currently laughing their collective asses off. If I'm wrong, please tell me how much you enjoyed Music by Prudence and Rabbit a la Berlin when you saw them.

4) Just when I thought those damn "Based on the novel Push by Sapphire" jokes would start winding down, that movie wins several nominations.

5) Is there a reason they don't change the "Best Animated Feature" category to "Category we created so Pixar would win every year"?

6) Speaking of that, what the hell is Secret of Kells? Did those "Documentary:Short Feature" guys slip this one in too? Even Roger Ebert hasn't seen it.

7) Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson share a nomination for Best Sound Mixing. If their names mean nothing to you, they're the guys who made sure you left Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen without your hearing. I hope they win but that it's really a plot to lure them up on stage and pants them.

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