Full Moon

I reviewed New Moon when it came out back in November. It's not that I hated that movie but that I hated it in a really special way. I really don't understand the appeal of characters whose entire lives are spent in either life threatening situations or crushing depression. The trailer for this summer's Eclipse looks like a continuation of this fine tradition which means I have between now and then to find new ways to make fun of Bella's mumbling, Edward's disinterested whisper and Jacob's pecs.

One thing I can tell you is that New Moon was much better on DVD. In fact, I absolutely loved it. Watching New Moon in the theater was a dark and sad experience but at home on my HD screen it was a wonder and a delight. New Moon viewed in the comfort of my home was a thing of wit, hope and imagination and it was all thanks to these guys.

Yeah, baby! Rifftrax! Some of you may remember Mystery Science Theater 3000, the television show that went off the air more than a decade ago. Opinion is split as to whether it was a great show or if it was the greatest show ever. MST3K was a show in which a guy named Joel (later replaced by a guy named Mike) and his two robots were supposedly being held prisoner in a satellite orbiting the Earth and, as part of an experiment, were forced to watch bad movies. The practical upside of this was that they would make hilarious jokes while the movie was playing and perform hilarious sketches when it wasn't. It went off the air, I assume, because they were a threat to The Man. Sadly, mainly due to various rights issues, you never see reruns playing on any network though many episodes are available on DVD. Thankfully, we also now have Rifftrax. This is the brainchild of former MST3K players Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. They make a separate audio track for movies that bypass any rights issues since they don't use a single bit of the movie's audio or video which means they can now make fun of any movie they want. And oh did they ever do it to New Moon.

Finally I got to hear out loud the insults I was thinking in my head while watching New Moon. Well, maybe not. If I had done the riffs they mostly would have consisted of, "This sucks," or, "Man, does this ever suck," or maybe, "Magic 8 Ball says THIS SUCKS!" (I'm proud of that one.) These guys, however, are professional comedy writers and so they make funny jokes about Bella's stammer and lack of expression, Edward's love of pauses and the general absurdity that is not only this film but the Twilight phenomenon in general.

New Moon and its predecessor, Twilight, are an excellent introduction to Rifftrax. Some have been better than others though I can't say I've heard a really bad one yet. Still, Eclipse is coming out soon. Who knows what that will do to their souls?