Look At My Briefs -- 3/4/10

It's that time of year again, kiddies. Time for another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

I suppose it was only a matter of time.

I wonder what it says about me that Nip/Tuck is going off the air and I've yet to see a single episode. I suppose it means I don't have 100 hours a week to watch television. I thought some grand philosophical observation would suddenly pop in my head after typing that first sentence but now...nothing. Moving on.

The only really classic moments of the third Pirates of the Caribbean film happened when Keith Richards showed up to play Jack Sparrow's father and people in the audience started muttering, "I think that's Keith Richards." The depth of Johnny Depp's affection for Richards makes me look forward to his planned documentary of the bass player though I've no idea how you're going to stretch, "I don't really remember that due to the drifting dunes of heroin I was doing at the time," into a full length feature but I'm sure Depp will find a way.

Young people may not know that there was a time when video games didn't have even the bare bones storylines they have today. Space Invaders, for instance, didn't take place during World War II or in a zombie infested post apocalyptic world. It was just "Shoot stuff out of the sky" and they made millions off of it. This makes me wonder how exactly one goes about turning something like Space Invaders into a full length feature film but why worry? If there's one source of filmmaking ideas that always delivers quality product, it's video games.

This woman writes an entire article advocating for The Blind Side to win Best Picture before finally admitting this in the second to last paragraph:

“The Blind Side” is not a great film but it is a great story which is documented at its end by the real life pictures of the characters portrayed by Bullock, Tim McGraw, Kathy Bates and others.

The only reason she wants The Blind Side to win is because she sees it as something that affirms her world view. The reason it won't win has nothing to do with values or a liberal agenda. It won't win because there are nine other nominated films much better than The Blind Side, a mediocre film that shouldn't have been nominated in the first place.

Dealers of illegal hallucinogenics will notice a sharp drop in business tomorrow when Alice in Wonderland, a movie that makes them unnecessary, is released. Let your friendly neighborhood drug merchant know you still care and that he'll be back in business in a few weeks when the film slowly drifts out of theaters.