Monday, November 3, 2008

The Story Of O

With the election looming ever more closely, I was thinking today about how today's events will be covered in movies of the future. Considering we already have the first movie about the Bush presidency out, I imagine it won't take too long although I the the future would have a better perspective but it's inevitable that the story of the first black man to become the Presidential nominee of a major party will be the subject of numerous cinematic treatments over, well, the next couple of centuries.

I wonder if John McCain realizes how he will be perceived in these future drafts of history. He'll be played by someone like Anthony Hopkins or whoever the future equivalent of Anthony Hopkins will be. Zac Efron could play McCain in about 50 years in the movie White House Musical where he would be declared, "the hunkiest McCain ever."

I look forward to the scene where McCain decided to piss his legacy down his leg and throw in his lot with the smear merchants and race baiters that produced the ad where Barack Obama is compared to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton which served the duel purpose of saying, "Obama is the Gay Prince of All Shallow Sissies," and of being a racist dog whistle to implant in the minds of voters the image of Obama saying, "Where da white wimmin at?" We'll see the time when Sarah Palin was chosen to be his V.P. nominee, the brief period of good times that followed when Sarah Palin served as a blank screen upon which voters could project their own notions and fantasies and then the long period of not-so-great times caused by the words that came out of her mouth and the liberal bias of reality.

We'll see the day the campaign truly ended when the economy went off the rails and Obama responded by staying calm and weighing possible strategies while McCain responded by declaring that the fundamentals of the economy were strong followed by his vow to "suspend" his campaign and return to Washington where he would knock some heads together but only ended up making things worse. Perhaps the movie will add a moment of dramatic license where McCain vows to follow the economy to the gates of Hell, rip its heart out of its chest and show it to the economy before it dies.

After that we get the tense moments where it seems Obama's campaign may be undone by the McCain campaign's final Obama is a terrorist Muslim atheist who will either send the white people to death camps or pack them all on boats to Africa while shouting, "SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT, WHITE DEVILS!" push but, in the end, we'll see the smiling faces of Obama and his supporters on election night while McCain sits in the dark wondering if he'll continue in the Senate or go the Bob Dole route and do Viagra commercials. Either way, he'll be portrayed as a sad, pathetic man who threw away his legacy and public image as a man of honor and integrity and was left with nothing to show for it except for either a place in the Senate's minority party or a handful of boner pills and the phone calls from Sarah Palin asking for his support when she runs in 2012.

This is as it should be. Obama made his choices and McCain made his and now history will judge them accordingly.

And yes, I am using the psychic powers that never seem to work when I pick out lottery numbers to somehow predict an Obama victory tomorrow. If Obama wins, make sure you credit this site as the place you first heard about it.

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