Saturday, December 27, 2008

Why I've Never Won The Lottery

Because I'm horrible at prediction. Marley and Me has taken the #1 spot for the Christmas weekend (a weekend which hasn't really ended yet but that, apparently, isn't how it's done anymore). I wasn't even considering Marley and Me for the top five. I, along with the rest of the planet, had Benjamin Button and Bedtime Stories coming in at #1 and #2 (they did finish at #'s 2 and 3 which doesn't help in the "I totally suck at prediction" department). And I feel stupid for not seeing this coming.

Marley and Me is a mediocre comedy. In the last two months, two mediocre comedies have managed to defy expectations and premiere in the number 1 slot (Four Christmases and Yes Man and I really am going overboard in the usage of parentheses today. It's like I'm getting paid for everyone I use). Plus, it has a damn dog. People love dogs. Hell, I love dogs. So why didn't we all see this coming? We haven't yet adjusted to the new reality, that's why. We must all accept the fact that movies with plots about immature dolts who do something stupid (usually with the loves of their lives in tow DAMN I DID IT AGAIN), predictably get into trouble for it, do two or three wildly funny things and many, many more insultingly unfunny things in the process and come close to losing everything only to have their fat pulled out of the fire just in time for the closing credits to roll are now King Of The Box Office.

I will now miss the days when two-fisted loners who, in the cause of justice, sometimes had to go outside the law were the Kings, but that's the way it is. Oh, and just in case I AM getting paid for these:


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