I was thinking I'd go see Nicolas Cage's new science fiction film Knowing in which Nic plays some sciency type who opens up a time capsule from 50 years ago to find some pages with numbers scribbled all over them. In a bit of stunt plotting in which it actually occurs to him to examine these pages, he discovers some sort of pattern or code or whatever that shows these 50 year old numbers predicted every major disaster that occurred during those 50 years including 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and the release of the movie Australia. Oh sure, it looks dumb but it also has an Oscar winner who usually manages to do something interesting in even his worst movies and lots of stuff blows up in the trailer so it should be at least mildly entertaining and the slovenliness of the filmmaking isn't embarrassing, it should be okay. What did the critics on the Tomatometer say? I'll start with Lawrence Toppman of The Charlotte Observer:
The slovenliness of the filmmaking is embarrassing.CRAP! Most of the critics seem to be like that. It currently only has a 27% positive rating. Another typical example is Matt Pais at Metromix.com.
Too ridiculous to be taken seriously and too serious to be dismissed as mindless trash.On the other hand, we have this atypical example.
Knowing is among the best science-fiction films I've seen -- frightening, suspenseful, intelligent and, when it needs to be, rather awesome.That's from Roger Ebert. So, should I listen to Ebert or some internet doof I've never heard of? I'll have to think about that.
The other two movies are Duplicity, a thriller about corporate intrigue and I Love You, Man, the new comedy from Judd Apatow and company. Unfortunately, RottenTomatoes.com decided to go down just when I went to see how they were doing so SCREW 'EM! If they couldn't take the time to make sure a third party website was up when I went to go research their movies then they must not want my business very much.
Anyway, before it went down, Duplicity was scoring a little over 50%. It's about a couple of ex-spies played by Clive Owen and Julia Roberts who are trying to rip off some some of super secret thingie from some rich douchebags or something like that. I would just work under the assumption that it wouldn't be any good since thrillers about slick con jobs are hard to pull off but it is written and directed by the same guy who did Michael Clayton so it's possible that the 50% of the critics who didn't like it all saw the same screening in which Duplicity was accidentally replaced with a rough cut of Hannah Montana: the Movie and wondered what the hell was going on (though I'm sure they marveled at the makeup job that made Julia Roberts look 16 again).
As for I Love You, Man, well, it's an Apatow comedy (produced by him anyway) so it'll probably have something going for it. Even Pineapple Express had a few good scenes. Also, before the site went down, I think it was clocking at around 80% positive. The plot, which consists of Paul Rudd playing a mangina who befriends a total psycho A-Hole, well, it's a Judd Apatow movie and it doesn't have a stoned James Franco wearing a blond wig so, what the hell?
You know, there are loads of other movie sites where I could probably find a collection of critics' quotes. Maybe I'll...nah, who am I kidding? I still go to the restaurant where I once got E. Coli so I won't be abandoning RottenTomatoes anytime soon.
4 comments:
And now you've made me curious about the whole E coli thing.
I still can't believe that damn went down and stayed down just when I needed it to work. It makes me wonder if the owner or RT.com is someone who hated me in high school or something.
As for the E. coli, it's not especially interesting. Local restaurant got shipped some tainted vegetables which got served to me in a Caesar salad. I basically got an upset stomach though some people almost died. I did net a nice little settlement so it wasn't a total loss.
Sometimes I wonder why my life sounds uninteresting compared to everyone else's, but then I remember I'm an unemployed, relatively uneducated nerd with little to do but fiddle around, write things no one reads, and comment on a blog about movies I haven't seen.
Well, I suppose I do have a funny food story. When I saw Watchmen I got there early so I got an iced coffee - the place was this huge multiplex with five separate food vendors - and I got those little tiny things of cream. Lots of them.
About six. I have far too much cream in my coffee.
I was about five little cups through before I noticed one of the cream cups had the consistency of yogurt, struggling to escape from its plastic prison before it plopped into my drink. For some stupid reason I drank it anyway. No lasting effects except a bit of discomfort while the movie was starting, although that could have just as easily been because of the 10-minute intro telling me just how awesome IMAX is. (Very awesome, if you believe the beginning of the movie.)
Each generation of Americans is dumber and softer than the last.
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