Friday, March 27, 2009

The Old In And Out

Series of short comments on various topics today. Why? Because I'm tired and this is easy.

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I've been bitching a lot about remakes lately but, if it's going to be done, this is how you should do it. Sure, True Grit is a classic, but it's from the Coen brothers and they say they're going at it from a different angle than the John Wayne film did by being faithful to the book. I don't really understand the concept of "shot by shot remake" that so many remakes end up being. If you're going to do it, do it differently. If nothing else, it'll piss off all the John Wayne fetishists out there and no, I don't mean John Wayne fans. I'm talking about douchebags like this guy who conflate Wayne's image on screen with reality in the same way they do to Jack Bauer today. Wayne was nothing like the men he played on screen. Hell, John Wayne wasn't even his real name.

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I didn't think Monsters Vs. Aliens would be any good (mainly because I think the title is lame) but I'm always happy to admit when I'm wrong.

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On the other hand, it looks like Haunting In Connecticut is going to suck big honkin' ostrich balls. (Do they have big balls? They must, right?) In this case, I'm always happy to admit when I'm right. Um, I didn't actually make a prediction as to the film's quality in that post, but I'm going to count this as one in the Win Column for me because NO ONE CAN STOP ME MUAHAHAHAHA!

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To my knowledge, there's never been a decent film version of the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Now it looks like Ron Howard wants to direct a movie version of the graphic novel The Strange Adventure of H.P. Lovecraft. Hey, it's Ron Howard so it might be pretty cool. The graphic novel was created by Mac Carter and Jeff Blitz which means, technically, there still will not have been a decent film version of the works of H.P. Lovecraft. That whole last paragraph was pointless but at least it took up space.

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A lot of people are badmouthing Dragonball Evolution ahead of time but really, there's no reason why it should suck. Oh sure, it's going to be cheesy and dumb but cheesy and dumb doesn't necessarily add up to bad. Of course, it would help if one of the film's heroes wasn't a middle aged guy in a Hawaiian shirt. Having a guy like that save the world doesn't exactly scream quality. Also, wasn't Goku supposed to be Japanese? I don't know, maybe Goku is a common name in Wisconsin or something. Never trusted Wisconsin. Too much cheese out there, everyone is plugged up all the time.

Wow, I took a movie that had nothing to do with bodily functions and connected it to constipation. Guess I can cross that goal off my bucket list.

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I've recently come to enjoy Twitter (you can follow me here). I originally did it to follow the Twitter feeds of people like Glenn Greenwald without any intention of doing anything else then some old friends tracked me down so I've been having fun talking to them as well as just posting dumb little comments like the reason for my desire to have a monkey hit me in the crotch (it's not as weird as it sounds...no, scratch that, it's weird but not in a pervy way). The biggest effect it's had on this site so far is that I found that Fury of Solace guy when he started following me on Twitter. In fact, I've gotten several new readers through Twitter. I thought at first they'd all gone away after the first few hits but it turned out they were subscribing to the RSS feed, something I often forget I have.

Anyway, I rambled long and far from the reason I brought this subject up. I present to you the reason the gods invented Twitter: Christopher Walken's Twitter page.

UPDATE 3-28-09 Apparently that guy turned out not to be the real Christopher Walken and Twitter banned his page. Too bad, he was still damn funny. Oh well, at least we still have millions of people letting us know they're having broiled scallops for dinner.

And I'm out. See ya all later.

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