Thursday, April 15, 2010

Look At My Briefs -- 4/15/10

Today is tax day, not a pleasant day for most Americans. Gosh, I wonder what the best possible way to take the sting out of handing over a percentage of your income to the federal government is. Only thing that comes to mind is another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

Paul Verhoeven has a point when he compares Robocop to Jesus. My favorite part of the Book of Matthew is when Jesus shoots a guy in the balls. At least we both agree that Robocop shouldn't be remade. I hope we also both agree that Showgirls should never be remade.

Joss Whedon directing The Avengers is the most awesome news in the history of awesome news. It's like hearing that scientists have created ice cream that also gives blow jobs. I'm going to be happy for now and not think about the very likely chance that Whedon will quit due to excessive studio interference and the project will be handed over to Uwe Boll.

*Gasp* Is Kick Ass actually going to be...good? I'll admit that, when I saw the first trailer last Christmas, I thought it would be stupid. Then I saw this red band trailer of Hit-Girl. I'll admit that, up until that point, I didn't realize I was the kind of guy who could be entertained by foul mouthed, sociopathic 8 year old girls. Perhaps if I had lived in Japan where you see stuff like that every day I'd have figured this out about myself sooner but that's neither here nor there.

Wow, looks like the new Shrek movie will be the best one yet.

Oh God or Krishna or Muhammad or Thor or whichever of you is in charge, please oh please let this idea for a 3D version of Jaws fail miserably. Creating 3D versions of old movies is simply a horrible idea. It reminds me of the colorization craze back in the 80s when we saw ugly color versions of movies like Casablanca and It's A Wonderful Life. George Lucas might be able to pull off something like that for Star Wars but that's because he'd have control and would take the time and money to do it right but even he would be limited by the fact creating 3D versions of old movies is a REALLY FUCKING STUPID IDEA.

So, Conan's moving to TBS at 11. Good for him. Shame I'll never watch it. If I watch anything at that time, it's The Daily Show/Colbert combo. It's a matter of time. If I had 100 hours a week to watch television, Conan would definitely be on the list. Since I don't, he's not.

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