Look At My Briefs -- 4/29/10

I've decided to give myself a treat and what better treat could I possibly give myself than to write another edition of brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

I see Dreamgirls director Bill Condon is the latest Hollywood talent to hear the siren call of suck and smash his career against the rock that is the Twilight saga. Good news: Breaking Dawn is the last of the Twilight books. After this, there can be no more...no, they'll find a way. They always find a way.

So, what are we getting in the way of upcoming sequels? How To Train Your Dragon, Clash of the Titans and...Journey To The Center Of The Earth? Wait, that stupid Brendan Fraser movie that nobody saw is getting a sequel? I assumed MTV Movies Blog was screwing with me but no, it's real. It turns out I just assumed nobody saw it (an assumption based on the fact that anyone you ask denies having seen it which makes me think the director's mom bought all the tickets) and it actually broke the $100 million mark. But wait, it turns out Brendan Fraser may not be in the sequel. It's a sign that you may have a bad project on your hands when the guy from Dudley Doright and Bedazzled doesn't want to be in it. I suppose they won't be able to afford Fraser anyway after this week's Furry Vengeance in which Fraser Riverdances with a raccoon grosses a billion dollars.

This trailer for the new Resident Evil movie claims that they're using James Cameron's process for shooting 3D movies. Also, judging by the trailer, they're using this new, groundbreaking technology to do the same stupid shit that makers of 3D movies have been doing for over half a century. "He's throwing a knife. AAHH, IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US! Phew, that's over. Wait, now he's tossing pizza dough. IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US!"

Everyone seems so shocked that the biggest grossing movie ever is doing great business on DVD.

Roger Ebert done anything to piss anyone off this week? Well, it's only Wednesday so give him time.

This article in Filmmaker Magazine about young people staying away from independent and arthouse films is sad and annoying but the most sad and annoying thing about it is this passage:

Question: "When was the last time you went to an arthouse?"
Answer: "Years ago. I watch everything online. I don't have time to go to the cinema."

While this reply from Alex Johnson, a 30-year-old interactive strategist, filmmaker and co-founder of WBP Labs, doesn't speak for an entire generation of new movie consumers, it certainly begs the question: What is the future of the indie movie-going audience?

I have no idea what the hell an Interactive Strategist is but, judging from the reply given by Interactive Strategist Alex Johnson, I'm assuming it involves sniffing large amounts of glue. Think about what he said for a moment. If he has time to watch everything online, why the hell doesn't he have time to go to the cinema? He's acting like a move that has a 2 hour runtime on his phone somehow takes seventeen hours to watch if he actually drags his ass down to the local theater. Perhaps he's somehow able to interactively strategize movies so they run faster on his damn iPhone while tweeting about it with his friend @CockMonkey69 or on his XBox in between rounds of Street Fighter. Here's an interactive strategy for you: if something was meant to be seen on a big screen, watch it on the big screen.