Wednesday, July 8, 2009

An Inconvenient Truth

I WAS RIGHT! Yep, that's it, people. I was right. I'm not always right but this time, I nailed it. All rightie then, that's that. See you all tomorrow.

Oh shoot, you probably want context. This site would be so much easier to write if I never had to provide that.

Back in April, I wrote an edition of something I like to call Movies I Haven't Seen about a movie called The Ugly Truth. To sum up, if The Ugly Truth is being accurately portrayed by its marketing, it's a stupid monument to misogyny lacking in intelligence and humor. However, a commenter said that test audiences enjoyed the clips they had seen, especially a scene where Katherine Heigl's character is accidentally brought to orgasm in a crowded restaurant when she's wearing vibrating panties and a ten year old boy gets hold of the remote control. That made me think, "Wow, maybe this movie will actually be funny." Now, the vibrating panties clip is on YouTube. Let's take a look.

This was just like that fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally except that was good and this isn't. When you compare the two scenes, you see the reasons why. In When Harry Met Sally, Meg Ryan does what she does on purpose to make a point in a humorous fashion. Her behavior was her choice and she wasn't embarrassed by it afterward. Katherine Heigl, on the other hand, is the victim not only of unfortunate circumstances but also of that smirking woman hating asshole played by Gerard Butler, a man who knows exactly what's going on but doesn't stop it because he finds it amusing that she's being inadvertently violated by a ten year old. That situation is made worse by the fact that he's probably going to end up with her at the end of the movie simply because that's how romantic comedies work.

So, that's it. I was right. The Ugly Truth will be a black hole from which laughter and goodness cannot escape. It will take all the wonder and joy from the souls of they who see it and replace it with despair that will spread throughout the world until we all lose the ability hear the birds sing or feel the Sun shine on our faces. Smiles will be a thing of the past, something about which we will someday tell our grandchildren in the gray, depressing world of the future.

Still, I was right, so Yay Me!

1 comment:

Dan Coyle said...

And wasn't Katharine Heigl complaining about how Knocked Up wasn't a very good role or something? Because this, THIS is a step up.