Tuesday, December 15, 2009

How Did We Let This Happen?

I just don't understand it. Things just aren't supposed to go this way. Life is unpredictable, true, but certain events are supposed to go a certain way. As sure as the sun rises in the East, some movies are just plain supposed to suck. I knew months ahead of time that both Transformers movies were going to be exercises in pain. I knew the same about Twilight and I knew that New Moon would be even worse. I knew the same thing about Avatar. For months now, I've been certain that Avatar would be both a boring ripoff of Dances With Wolves and an example of wretched and unchecked Hollywood excess.

Now it looks as if Avatar is actually going to be good. If you clicked on that link, you saw Avatar's Rotten Tomatoes page where, as of this writing, the movie currently has a 92% positive rating, a number that's actually higher than it was this morning.

Damn it, this wasn't supposed to happen! I was supposed to be able to write a review next week called "Ava-tard" and talk about how James Cameron couldn't have made My Dinner With Andre without spending $200 million. Now I'll have to marvel at the film's visual delights and maybe even talk about how I was touched by both the story's romantic elements and how I cheered when the aliens battled the invading human army.

Oh well, this was bound to happen. The upshot of all this is that we get to see the rarest of breeds, a good high concept studio made action film. Plus, it's not like we're going to run out of bad movies anytime soon. Next year, I'll get to take apart the new Macgruber movie, something that is guaranteed to be the worst piece of crap in the history of...what? DAMN IT!

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