Look At My Briefs -- 12/17/09

For those of you playing along at home: mark the spot on your cards reserved for my regular feature in which I give brief comments on various subjects called Look At My Briefs. Anyone get Bingo?

One paragraph in this AICN post stood out:

“Better Off Ted,” broadcast’s least-watched primetime Tuesday non-repeat, didn’t fall anywhere near as much as “Scrubs” but still looks like a lost cause.

HEY MORONS! Yeah, I'm talking to you. Better Off Ted is awesome. Start watching it. I can't believe I live in a world where crap like Two and a Half Men and The New Adventures of Old Christine manage to stay on the air while good shows like Better Off Ted fall by the wayside. Just so you know, if a guy comes into your house next Tuesday and forces you to change the channel to Better Off Ted, the gun won't be loaded. Maybe.

Roy Disney died this week. I know very little about Roy Disney except that, back in the 60s, he fired my favorite writer, Harlan Ellison. This would ordinarily make him the object of my wrath but, seeing as he's dead, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. This time.

I see Avatar's Tomatometer rating has dropped from 92% to 84% which makes me say IN YOUR FACE, JAMES CAMERON. Cameron is another guy who once offended the God Who Walks Like A Man, Harlan Ellison, back when he ripped off Ellison's work and made into The Terminator. Interestingly, Avatar itself is a ripoff not only of Dances With Wolves but also of the 1957 Poul Anderson story Call Me Joe. This makes me look forward to James Cameron's next movie in which a robopsychologist tries to deal with the Three Laws of Robotics.

As of this writing, Did You Hear About The Morgans? is currently clocking in at zero percent. This is good news as it has nowhere to go but up. BOOM, BABY!

The FBI has arrested the guy who leaked the workprint of Wolverine last Spring. Good. Because of him, they apparently couldn't release the movie as it was and had to quickly whip up a much crappier version that was released in theaters. That guy should be ashamed of himself.

It shouldn't surprise anyone that Hollywood reaches Mean Girls levels of gossip around awards season. You would think that experienced and sophisticated members of the show business industry would know to treat certain stories skeptically yet they often don't. My theory is that human beings in general are stupid.

All right, I know I trashed James Cameron at the start of today's post but I would really like to see this happen. Also, I would have a great deal of respect for Cameron as a filmmaker if one of Avatar's characters at some point honestly utters the line, "Man, this planet looks expensive."