Look At My Briefs -- 7/1/10

This is a big holiday weekend in America. Damned if I can remember why. Something to do with Jesus setting Americans free, I think. It doesn't matter to me. I'll celebrate the invention of licorice if I get the day off to do so. Maybe the reason will come to me after I finish another edition of my brief comments on various subjects I like to call Look At My Briefs.

I'm not sure how I slipped from my own reality into a crazy, backwards universe in which the new Twilight film isn't the worst reviewed movie of the week. That distinction belongs to The Last Airbender. I started worrying about Airbender when I first saw some of the cartoon series the movie was based on. It's a bright and whimsical show and the movie looks dark with depressed characters and it was written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, a guy not known for directing laugh riots. But hey, maybe all the bad reviews are something Shyamalan arranged and an excellent movie will be the unexpected twist ending. We can only hope.

This teaser for Paranormal Activity 2 looks all right, I guess. I liked the first one a lot but never expected to see a sequel unless it was some straight-to-DVD suckfest that basically just paid the producers to use the name. I remain dubious as the first one seemed like lightning in a bottle but I'll still be happy no matter how bad it is as long as it once again buries this year's Saw movie like the first one did.

Speaking of crappy horror sequels, please tell me this title is some sort of joke that the entire internet is playing on me.

About a year and a half ago, I wrote with some interest about a movie called Caesar that would have been a prequel to Planet of the Apes. Sadly, the original director, Scott Frank who wrote Minority Report and directed the excellent The Lookout seems to be long gone from the project. It's now been given the more generic title Rise of the Apes and everything I read about gives me the sense that Scott Frank's vision of an intelligent science fiction story has given way to a vision of a crap sequel designed to make a few bucks based on its name. I could be wrong but if I'm not, the headline of the review I will write in 2011 will be, "DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

There are actually two answers to the question in this headline. 1) If the sequel is like the comic book it's based on in tone, style and quality then Hell Yes! 2) If it's in any way similar to the first film then Sweet Merciful Fuck No!

Can I apply my points to the price of the ticket for this?

The Feds have seized the domain names of several free movie sites. This is good news for filmmakers who have often had to watch helplessly as their movies went stright from some guy's camcorder and onto the internet. I just wish they'd waited a few more days as this now means I'll have to actually pay to see Eclipse and The Last Airbender.