Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Keeping It Short

Let's take a look at upcoming films. This'll be so much fun I'll be surprised if you don't puke with joy.

I can't wait to see if the "It can't possibly get any worse" theory of filmmaking holds true for this movie.

I'm really looking forward to this because I can't wait to see Will Ferrell breaking new ground giving an over the top performance playing a character who is both dimwitted and larger-than-life.

I like chick flicks despite my lack of chick status but I feel like this movie's title is telling me what to do. I have enough people telling me what to do now so I'll pass.

Here's a movie directed by Sylvester Stallone. The last movie directed by Sylvester Stallone that had nothing to do with Rocky or Rambo was 1983's Staying Alive, an unintentionally hilarious sequel to Saturday Night Fever that tried to convince the world that women only use men for meaningless sex and that the music of Sylvester Stallone's brother Frank was something we should all be listening to. It failed to do either of those things. I'm sure this new movie will be good though.

I don't want to go overboard on how good I think Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is going to be but I do think it will do for movies what Jesus did for religion. Yes, I have high expectations and if they aren't met, I will be equal parts cruel and merciless.

You know what else sucks? Makers of cheesy parody films that wouldn't know funny if it came up and kicked them in the face.

This title tells me the movie is either about sports, sex, or a group of leather clad bikers roaming a post apocalyptic world looking for gasoline. I can't wait to find out.

It will only be the last exorcism if the movie loses money. If it's a hit, count on another three or four exorcisms.

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