Friday, August 6, 2010

Bizarro World Movie Reviews -- Step Up 3D

I want you all to know how lucky you are. You are all about to experience a rare privilege. I promise you that you will tell your children and that they will tell their children about this remarkable moment in history for this is the day that the world at large will be able to experience the wonder that is Step Up 3D.

I think I can safely predict that Step Up 3D will stand not only as a movie that speaks for an entire generation but as one that speaks for generations far beyond this one. I truly believe that people will look back decades and still flock to theaters to see it and, if theaters have ceased to exist, they will be rebuilt for the sole purpose of showing Step Up 3D.

What allowed this latest chapter set in the legendary Step-Up-iverse to shine is that this one is shot in 3D, a format universally recognized as something that always makes movies better. It's not at all dark, distracting, needless or headache inducing. Now, instead of seeing dancers on screen we SEE the DANCERS on SCREEN!!! I never truly knew what pop and locking was before I saw it in 3D. When I saw a young man doing it in the street outside the theater after the show, I lamented that I was seeing it in real life and not truly seeing it in 3D.

The story is as original as it is old. A group of dancers have set up a dancing halfway house in an old warehouse under the leadership of dancer/filmmaker Luke. Sadly. the owner of the building actually expects to be paid for its use and everyone who lives there is too busy challenging each other to dance battles to go out and earn some money so they did what you and I would do. That's right, instead of getting jobs, they enter a huge dance contest with the help of a girl named Natalie who's qualified to help them because Luke wants to have sex with her.

As you can see, the themes in that story know neither the boundaries of time nor culture. It can enjoyed by all the peoples of the world. I can envision Israelis and Palestinians sharing tubs of popcorn and perhaps even dance along with Luke and Natalie and everyone else on the screen and realize that they're not so different after all.

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