If you are a band of highly competent criminals, the one thing guaranteed to cause you nothing but pain is to say, "Let's do one last job."
If you're in a room with some girl who says she's the devil and proves it by climbing up walls, GET THE HELL OUT. I don't know what's wrong with these movie exorcists sometimes.
Any and all attempts to have a casual relationship will fail miserably and end up becoming true love, especially if you have lots of colorful, sarcastic and somewhat stupid friends.
If you're looking for someone to frame for murder for political reasons, you should probably do it to a guy who isn't named Machete.
The world will end in a silly and incoherent way though, judging by the evidence, hot babes will still have access to kickass personal trainers.
The clearest path to high school popularity is to launch a scheme both insane and nonsensical while making biting and world weary comments the entire time.
Somehow, having good abs makes you a criminal mastermind.
Don't get into an elevator with the Devil. Really, why did it take a movie to teach us this?
Remember, just because the calendar says you are a mature adult doesn't mean you can't still act like a complete ass.