Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Little Big Hollywood

I was very excited when Big Hollywood first went online. The conservative movie site at first amused me like little else did. I enjoyed hilarious claims like the guy who said that profitable liberal movies actually lost a fortune or saying that the industry that just had big hits with Wolverine and Star Trek should make more escapist films. At first, I had to pick and choose which BH articles would be my subjects. It's hard to believe they've only been around since January. Since then, they're often indistinguishable from any other right wing blog. You see post after post about how Barack Obama is a Fascist Communist Socialist Muslim Atheist and the worst part of it is that so much of their content these days has nothing to do with show business. Also, it is oh so very boring.

Still, while no one there rates an entire column all to themselves, they do deserve another edition of Quick Hits.

S.T. Karnick: Karnick reaches up his ass and pulls out reasons why the government is about to launch an anti-trust suit against Hulu right after he gets done clearly laying out all the real reasons why this will never happen.

Ben Shapiro: 24 year old war supporter Shapiro who has never seen fit to actually enlist in the military so he can actually fight in the war he supports calls Wanda Sykes gutless.

Ted Baehr: Don't go see Angels and Demons because Tom Hanks and Ron Howard will donate 1/10th of one percent of the money they make on it to Democrats.

Chris Muir: Jesus wept. I feel so sorry for conservatives if this guy is the best alternative they have to Doonesbury.

John Romano: With no evidence whatsoever to support the assertion, he claims that Barack Obama will ban tourism the day he visits Normandy because he hates mixing with the common folk. Also, the soldiers buried there died so we would never, ever have universal healthcare. AND WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MOVIES?

S.T. Karnick again: Fear of zombies and fear of swine flu are both socialist power grabs. (This one's a real winner.)

Greg Gutfeld: The fact that a famous actor is getting a high profile divorce is considered newsworthy and that people want to see pictures of a famous sexy girl wearing nothing but pink panties proves that liberals are all vicious hypocrites.

Steven Crowder: Here's yet another of those videos that serve as evidence that he really sucks as a comedian. (I wrote about Crowder a few times but lost interest in him when I realized that he was really nothing but a troll who had been promoted from typing things in ALL CAPS in comments sections to a regular Big Hollywood gig.)

Moxie: Hey all, look at me. Steven Crowder's not the only crap comedian writing at this site. I'm here too.

Orson Bean: Everything was better when I was young. Here's a direct quote from Mr. Bean:
Men are attracted to youth and beauty; women are attracted to power.
This appears to be casual misogyny at first glance but is proven right when you realize that incredibly good looking guy Brad Pitt has only been able to attract hags like Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.

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