Right Wing Movie Reviews -- Wolverine

My ankle still hurts so it's fortunate that I was once again contacted by right wing blogger Gotterdamerung, a top conservative voice who from time to time demands space here in order to bring balance to some perceived bias on my part. Today, he offers his thoughts on Wolverine.

Hi all, Gotterdamerung here. Anyone who’s figured out that Global Warming is socialism disguised as nonsense will understand immediately that Wolverine is Communist Fascist Radical Environmental Tree Hugging Propaganda dressed up to look like a fun summer action flick that Hollywood really hasn't been able to make since Red Dawn. The subtext, as defined by the plot point of of the character Wolverine having molten metal poured into his body and bonded to his bones, clearly is meant to show how the cutest animals (Wolverine) are being endangered by the man-made warming of the Earth (molten metal). This warming is never openly blamed on man, but it no longer needs to be. Years of dishonest propaganda have laid that groundwork so well that Wolverine can toss off the warming fallacy in the most effective of ways: by looking at you funny and dismissing you as crazy (as Wolverine director Gavin Hood did to me when I saw him buying a six inch chicken teriyaki at Subway and started screaming at him about his liberal bias).

Propa-nonsense or no, the saving grace of any liberal message film in the guise of an action movie is whether the stunts and effects can rise above the leftist message bombs planted like IEDs throughout the movie. The problem here is that even the exciting scenes are loaded down liberal imagery and anti-American symbolism. Take, for instance, the scene where Wolverine is being chased by a helicopter through the woods while riding a motorcycle. The people in the helicopter are evil government operatives trying to kill Wolverine and are clearly meant to represent George W. Bush trying to wipe out entire races of innocent woodland creatures. Eventually, the helicopter explodes, belching out hot flames. Get it? Bush just made the planet warmer while trying to destroy nature.

Then there's the fight on top of a nuclear reactor when Wolverine and Sabretooth team up against a government created mutant killer meaning that the filmmakers hope that nature itself will rise up and destroy what Rush Limbaugh told me is perfectly clean and utterly safe nuclear power.

There's some truly disturbing imagery when a group of captured mutants has to depend on Wolverine to set them free from their captors. This is left wing Un-Americanism in its purest form. The movie's message here is: don't try to solve your own problems. Instead sit around and wait for a Messiah to come along, be it Wolverine of Barack Obama, and then do whatever the hell that superman tells you to do. If he tells you to hang back while he takes care of some of the guards, do that. If he tells you to let him regulate CO2 emissions or pass cap-and-trade legislation, do that too.

There are a few compelling moments in the movie's 107 minute run time but the overall narrative is episodic with too few wowsers for the eyes. But it is a film made for kids who will be enamored with the animals/super heroes, caught up in their plight, leave the theater thinking that things like the environment, gay marriage, universal health care and socialism are important and grow into another mindless minion in the forever secured Democrat majority.