Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thankfully, There Was Nothing About Rocking The Vote

The MTV Movies Blog can be a great source of information. It can also be a great source of lame headlines. For example:
Stephen Spielberg Has A Dream Of Producing A Martin Luther King Jr. Biopic
Really? That was what you decided to use? The only explanation that makes sense is that an editor had a choice between that and "Martin Luther King Movie To Be Shot, Though Not In The Way King Himself Was." If that was the case, you made the correct choice and I salute you. If it wasn't, you have no excuse.

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Lookey lookey, more clips from Terminator: Salvation. This means that approximately 75% of the movie is now available in promotional clips. On the other hand, I suppose you could look at it as 25% of the movie will still be a complete surprise. That's the "glass is half full" viewpoint although actually it should be called the "Half the glass is available for free online" viewpoint.

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At this rate, Robert Pattinson will be playing Edward Cullen when he's well into his 40s. It's not too bad when you're 21 playing 17 (or a vampire who was 17 when he died) but it's bad when you start moving into your mid-20s and beyond. You become the only teenager who has to hide laughlines and dye the grey out of his hair. Also, I'm gonna laugh my ass off if the upcoming sequel flops and they've already paid for two more. The more likely scenario is that teenage girls will be laughing their asses off at me when it becomes an even bigger hit. For the first time in my life, I'm happy that teenage girls have always ignored me.

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Yeah, this is a good idea. I know that sounds sarcastic but no, really, a Zoolander sequel is an awesome idea. I know I can't go anywhere without people saying, "When is Zoolander 2 coming out? My life will be bland and meaningless until it does. In a world lacking a Zoolander sequel, even the taste of spicy food and the sweet sensation of masturbation have lost their appeal." This is probably a good idea for the producers though. The first Zoolander shows on Comedy Central 8 times a week and must have made a bazillion dollars from that alone.

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Sometimes they have good headlines. I don't even want to know what this is about so don't tell me.

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