Star Trek Fresheners

I'm home from having seen Star Trek. If I get some spare time I'll try to post a review later in the day. Until then, I've decided to write about what I will call Fresheners. These are reverse-spoilers; things that DIDN'T happen in the movie.

• No one tells a woman that her dead son would be pissed because she destroyed the Crystalline Entity, a genocidal alien who's responsible for the destruction over over a dozen worlds.
• No one makes a long, fruity speech about why it's a good thing to let an entire world die so the Prime Directive can be upheld.
• In fact, the words "Prime" and "Directive" aren't mentioned, at least not together.
• Two characters don't turn into lizards after reaching warp ten and end up having disturbing lizard sex. This is because no one with a writing credit has a name even similar to Braga*.
• No hot women decide to betray their races, values and everything they've ever known simply their panties got wet when they met James Kirk.
• On a similar note, no woman feels the need to ask, "What is...Kiss?"
• No one feels the need to deliver a long winded melodramatic monologue about they way in which whatever extraordinary science fictional situation they happen to be in that week reminds them of how their dads didn't hug them when they got good grades in math. SPOILER ALERT: In fact, when they have a chance to do that, they usually just yell, "FIRE PHASERS!" instead.
  
• And finally, there are no Frenchmen with British accents who extensively quote Shakespeare to prove that everyone with the exception of him is a complete dick.

Hopefully, knowing all this will not ruin your enjoyment of the film.

*Brannon Braga wrote that lizard sex episode and is one of the people responsible for the general suckiness of the Star Trek franchise from the mid 90s to today. There were a few bright spots (the movie First Contact for example) but mostly Star Trek movies and television have blown for more than a decade.