My apologies to anyone who thought this would be about that movie where a German accented Kate Winslet sits naked in a bathtub although the title does refer to an equally exciting subject: my RSS Reader.
I'm not sure this week if I'm covering the most outrageous content that Big Hollywood has to offer. The conservative movie site has decided to pull a really douchy move this week. The reason for the douchy move, I assume, is that they're douchebags. As I do with most blogs these days, I usually read Big Hollywood in my RSS Reader and last week they changed the format of their RSS feed from sending out the entire post to an all-teaser format. This means you only get a sentence or two in the reader before they cut you off and you have to click through to the main website to read yet another article where some right winger bitches that he wasn't given a staff writing position on 30 Rock because Alec Baldwin overheard him saying that Ronald Reagan's face should be on the one dollar bill. I'm not sure why they did this. The only reason I can see doing that is if your site is ad supported and you want people to click all the way to the main site to see the ads. I still don't like it when that happens but I can certainly understand it. Thing is, Big Hollywood doesn't have ads. Anyway, I don't click through teasers for sites that I like so I ain't doing it for them. Big Hollywood articles now have to grab me right off the bat. This means if they don't open with something like, "Coraline is a liberal feminist screed," or, "The Uninvited is anti-American because the villains in the movie are ghosts and not Muslims," then I'll just be skipping over it. So, what grabbed me this week?
How about alleged comedian Tim Slagle (the day he cracks me up is the day I'll believe him when he says he's a comedian) complaining about how Al Gore won a Grammy for the spoken word version of An Inconvenient Truth.
Why are awards dominated by Leftists? While on the Right, achievement is ranked by material gain, for the Left, it’s awards and honorary degrees. What is in the leftist mentality that enjoys golden statues so much? Is there something in the mind of collectivists that makes a nodding approval from the group necessary for self-fulfillment?Yeah, conservatives don't give a crap about awards. That's why all the writers on Big Hollywood have been collectively pissing themselves in rage over the fact that The Dark Knight, something they see as a conservative film, didn't get nominated for Best Picture this year. The fact that it was the top grossing movie of the year and one of the biggest money makers of all time wasn't enough for them. They wanted Scarlett Johansson to stand in front of a podium in a low cut dress blandly saying, "And the Oscar goes to...The Dark Knight" so they all could simultaneously think, "They like me. They really like me."
Oh, Tim Slagle? If you really don't give a crap about awards, why did you even write this? For example, I don't care about turnips. You know how you can tell I don't care about turnips? Because I'm betting it's been years since I've even spoken the word "turnip" much less written about them. It would be very difficult, however, for me to prove that I don't care about turnips had I just written a 10 paragraph article not only loudly proclaiming that I don't care about turnips but also chastising anyone who does and listing reasons why turnips are evil. Also, the book An Inconvenient Truth was a best seller that was based on one of the most successful documentaries ever made so you can save that "Liberals love awards more than material gain" garbage. When National Review: The Book On Tape becomes a critical and financial hit and fails to win a Grammy, you can come back to this topic although I don't see why you would since you don't care about awards, something I'm sure you will let us know in the long, incoherent rant you will write should this event ever occur.
I was also going to write extensively about Clear's Own favorite, another who has thoroughly earned the titled "alleged comedian", Steven Crowder and how he has once again proven to the world that he is not funny but then I thought, "Why not just let people see his work and decide for themselves." So that's what I'm going to do. Try to enjoy it, although I seriously doubt that's possible.
4 comments:
Wow am I the only one here?
I think if there's one thing more pathetic than being a comedian who isn't funny, it's writing a 736 word article that nobody reads.
Except, of course, for the guy who obsessively Googles his own name, and is so bothered by something on some guy's hobby blog that he's moved to comment on a post that otherwise would have died a quick death and been forgotten forever.
Be sure to respond to this by telling me that you don't care about anything I say.
"it can actually change the way you surf the internet"
thanks for the tip!
You returned sarcasm with sarcasm. Basically the equivalent of "I know you are, but wham am I?" but not bad. However, as a professional comedian, can you explain why you chose to zero in on that when I also accused you of being a masochist who was into she-males?
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