Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What A Strange Time It's Been

It's hard to believe that two weeks have since I have seen a movie in which Jon Favreau touches himself. Twice.

Look how different the world is now. The economy is down. Unemployment is up. We're stuck in two Middle Eastern wars. Oil, something which flows freely from the ground, is being sold at ever increasing prices. My local supermarket ran out of Mallomars and I ended up having to drive a mile down the street to get some.

Is there anyone out there naive enough to think all of that "just happened" in the last two weeks? How could we as a society have allowed Jon Favreau to stroke himself publicly? Don't say, "No one could have predicted all this." Damn it, someone must have known!

What's been done to repair the damage and prevent it from occurring again? If you said "exactly jack and shit" you'd be right. Has Congress passed or even proposed any legislation to stop Jon Favreau from spanking it onscreen in the future? No. This is almost certainly the result of intense lobbying on the part of the film industry that. Favreau not only has a role in next year's Iron Man 2 but he is directing it as well.. Couples Retreat, the movie in which he whipped it out and dared anyone to tell him to stop, opened at the #1. Based on that, do you think he has any intention of keeping it in his pants in Iron Man 2? Especially since he's directing the damn thing?

Perhaps by next summer the Couples Retreat DVD release will have made us sufficiently desensitized to the image of Jon Favreau erect and sweaty. Somehow, though, I doubt it. I predict that, after the release of Iron Man 2, a movie which will surely contain a scene of what happens when Favreau's character is left alone with a Victoria's Secret catalogue, the Dow will drop below 1000 and we'll declare war on the Vatican. When that happens, don't say no one predicted it.

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